Each one of us has our own “life story” and our past experiences shape our behaviour & personalities. Life, yep.. she’s a bitch. Sometimes can be kind but sometimes stressful as a rotten relationship. Sometimes can be neutral or maybe even better than ever. That’s just life. Need to deal with it no matter what. And through out my life time, here are brutally honest lessons life has taught me :
1) Trust is hard to find.
I’ve met many people who have betrayed my trust or have shown me they can’t be trusted by their action. Trust is the most important traits anybody can have. If you can be trusted, you are level of respect goes through the roof. But finding and being around people who you can trust 100% is challenging. Here what i can tell you, never share anything especially your deep dark secret with anybody. NEVER. Even your best friend.
- Me personally don’t like to share about my past and what i have been through in life because not all people can understand it. I don’t blame them 100% though. They have never been in my shoes. But if you’re kind of person who like to share and expect that person won’t tell anybody, you should think about that twice. The chance for that person to tell anybody that close to him/her is high.
- One time, i told my friend who i trusted the most to never tell anyone the reason why i broke up with my boyfriend, turns out she can’t keep her mouth shut.
- Never trust a person who like to talk about other people. They will talk about you too behind your back.
- If u ever get into a lot of money, those around you will show their true colours. Same thing will happen if u ever get into trouble. Out of the blue they will do something unbelievable. 🙂 Choose your friend wisely.
- Then you have those who will get into relationship with you, devote their time and love to you, yet have the audacity to cheat on you. And the sad thing is, there are too many people out there who have no idea that their partner is doing this to them.
Out of all the things i could mention, trusting someone close to you with money is probably the riskiest thing you can do. Of course, that’s not the case with everybody but unfortunately that’s the case with most.
2) You can’t be too nice.
Being nice is a good thing. Millions of people are nice but we need more people to be nice and to be kind. To treat each other nicely, and with respect. We need more of that positivity. But if you are too nice to the point of naivety, people will see you as weak and bound to be taken advantage of.
One obvious thing about being too nice, you’re quick to put your needs aside in favor of the needs of others. Thinking about others is what we nice people do.
Then a lot of “too nice” people trapped in a toxic friendship. So, what you can do to protect yourself is you need to think about yourself first. You need to learn how to detect when you’re in a toxic friendship and how to end it. If you want to approach the world with a “too nice” mentality, make sure you go there with a full set of armor.
“Being too nice gets you used and being too mean pushes people away. You should be nice but you should also put your foot down if you have to.”
3) Formal education isn’t everything.
From the moment we are young we’re told how important education is. We are told that if we don’t do well in school, we’re guaranteed to fail in life. We’re told to go to school, get good grades, then go to college, university, get a job and do that for a living. As if our lives are set from that point on or as if it’s that simple.
But formal education isn’t everything. Formal education isn’t even half of what you need to get to where you want. Maybe a quarter of what’s needed or less. Self education is the best education you can get. And not only could you do that, but you could learn a whole lot more too and gain a better, more valuable amount of knowledge while you’re at it and you could use that information to start a business, go self employed and work for yourself.
Formal education isn’t everything you’ve been led to believe it is. It may be a necessity if you plan on being a doctor, lawyer, and something of the sort. But for the most part it’s a lie we’ve all been brainwashed to believe especially by our society.
I believe that every person is born with talent. I believe that every skills are learnable. You just need to figure out what you want the most in life. Do the best you can, with what you can, while you can and success is inevitable.
4) Everything revolves around money.
The reason you get up and go to work is because of money. Your career decisions revolve around money. Your long term retirement goals revolve around money. The things you need to start a business revolves around money.
Your relationship with your partner revolves around money. Your success revolves around money (to an extent). Looking good revolves around money. Traveling and going to the places you want revolves around money. Creating a life by design revolves around money. Moving to a new city or country revolves around money. Having kids, starting your own charity, etc.
The reason you’re still striving for success revolves around money. No matter what it is, you best believe it revolves around money to some extent. And that’s not a bad thing, it’s just the brutal truth. And a reality many of us try to deny.
But one thing i want to tell you, whatever reason it is, don’t put making money as your top priority in life. We all can make a lot of money if we want to. The question is, what you are willing to sacrifice? Your health or the time with your love ones or both? Do u want to be someone who is on the phone while having dinner with family or whose kids end up despising their parents because they never made time for them?
By all means, plan for the future, work hard and do a good job at what you do, but realize that there will never be enough money, accomplishments, or job titles to make you truly happy.
5) Never depend on anyone but yourself.
There will come a time, sooner or later when your friends let you down no matter how good of friends they are, they are bound to let you down at least once during the duration of your friendship. This is only human nature; we all make mistakes and poor decisions from time to time. Even if your friends were to always have your back and be there to support you, you have to keep in mind that they have lives of their own.
Then, what if one day your partner leave you or do something bad to you and you have no job? And you don’t even know how to survive by yourself?
Learning to stand on your own two feet all the time will make it easier to stand alone when things get ugly and there is no one there to help you. This is not to say that we shouldn’t ever ask for help. However, we must be ready to take on any burden ourselves if that is the only possible solution. You yourself are the only person that you can and ought to rely on. Being independent is like the greatest weapon a woman can ever have.
“This is my belief : that through difficulties and problems God gives us the opportunity to grow. So when our hopes and dreams and goals are dashed, search among the wreckage, you may find a golden opportunity hidden in the ruins” – Abdul Kalam