I masih lagi ingat masa I mula-mula bekerja di Putrajaya, my life was tough. Makan pun tak menentu. Kadang-kadang sekali sehari. Ada rezeki lebih, dapat la makan nasi. Kalau tak, hari-hari biskut, roti dan megi. Family i pula dari segi financial memang tak boleh nak tolong. I pun masa tu mana ada saving lagi. Tahun 2010 hingga tahun 2014 adalah tahun I banyak dapat dugaan. Semua I tanggung sorang-sorang. I was unhappy with my life and struggled with depression too. I cried myself to sleep almost every night because I tak boleh terima jalan hidup I.
SOMETIMES KINDNESS COMES FROM A STRANGER.
Everything has changed when I met Wanni and someone yang I anggap macam kakak I sendiri, Kak Shaliza. My life memang tahap paling flat that time. I almost gave up with the silent battles I was fighting but they picked me up while I was still a stranger to them. They believed in me, supported me through all the hard times and gave me strength. Wanni banyak kenalkan I with people in the modelling industry. She lent me her money too walaupun I tak minta and sometimes dia akan tanya “kau ada duit tak?” to make sure I have enough money to survive. I mula buat modelling job to earn extra money. Since then, my life has dramatically changed. I’ve learned a lot of useful things to improve myself, I started to have enough money to buy things I desire and I dapat kenal ramai orang to make friends with. But now, I dah quit modelling. Alhamdulillah, hidup I jauh berbeza than before. I am so proud of who I am now – who I have become. To Wanni and Kak Shaliza (not to forget: Farah, Sara & Yaya – who used to be my best friend, Ajib – my colleague). I will never forget your kindness and generosity.
Me on Magazines :
WHAT I WANT IN LIFE.
On November 2015, someone yang i anggap as my big brother (i called him Peter) said this to me “This world needs someone like u. Stop hiding and step out of your comfort zone..”. To him, I can easily make other people happy. We had a serious conversation that day and his words motivate me and made me realize what hidden talent I have. Since then, I know what I should do in life. I want to help people, inspire and motivate them (this blog is one of the medium for this reason too), go to new places as much as I could, meet new people, learn about other culture, collect more knowledge, do volunteer work and again, give inspiration to others.
I DON’T LET MONEY CONTROL MY LIFE.
Duit memang diperlukan dalam kehidupan seharian but if u let money to be your priority in life (bila sembang cakap pasal duit, bila makan cakap pasal duit, tak happy salahkan duit, everything is about duit), trust me sampai bila pun kau tak akan rasa senang because you’re letting money control your life. Be grateful with what you have, and stop complaining. Sometimes the problem is in you. Your mindset and the way you live your life. Then, jangan kedekut terutamanya bila melibatkan makanan. Jangan kedekut untuk bagi duit dekat parents, adik-beradik or beli something for them. Jangan kedekut untuk bagi makan dekat haiwan dan yang paling penting jangan kedekut untuk bagi sedekah. Jangan kedekut untuk bagi tip dekat delivery guy, jangan kedekut untuk bagi duit to random strangers yang kita nampak susah. Jangan ungkit segala kebaikan yang kita dah buat. Ini pegangan hidup I. Alhamdulillah, Rezeki I sangat-sangat murah.
YOUR WORLD DOESN’T END THERE JUST BECAUSE…
Just because someone doesn’t have a college degree, doesn’t mean they’re not smart or have no future. To be honest, I am a high school graduate (with good grades though) but I tak pernah further my studies. Bukan sebab i tak nak but I chose to take a responsibility at my young age to help my family. Tapi tak semua orang faham benda ni. Some people have even seen me as an uneducated person just because I don’t have a college degree. I used to be shy, had very low self-esteem because of this matter for such a long time. Until one day I realized life is not all about a college degree, it’s what you do with your life that counts. Even though I’m earning minimum wage for my full-time job, I managed to buy a house for my parents when I was 27 years old, bought a car with my own money, can afford to pay my own bills and health insurance by age 23, and travel abroad by age 28.
My life is not great. My life is not perfect. But, I can achieve all of that in my 20’s. The key is to believe in yourself and your dream. Never stop fighting and never stop learning because life always gives something to learn. And remember, everyone you will ever meet know something you don’t. Never look down on others. No one can predict the future. 🙂
I MINIMIZE MY LIFE & SELL MY OLD STUFF.
Sebelum ni I like to buy things for my collection such as books, dvd’s, fashion accessories and clothing. I also obsessed with beauty products. Tapi, since I know what I want in life and I put it as my priority, I jual balik semua barang-barang yang I tak perlukan di app Carousell dan juga Mudah. Duit yang I dapat, I terus simpan ke dalam saving account dan everytime bila I rasa I nak beli something, I akan tanya diri I sendiri if that thing adalah keperluan ataupun tidak. If bukan, I won’t buy it. I dah banyak membazir duit I sebelum ni and I won’t repeat the same mistake again.
I PROTECT MYSELF FROM OTHER PEOPLE’S NEGATIVITY.
“There will always be haters. And the more you grow the more they hate; the more they hate the more you grow”
People will always have something to say about you no matter how good you are as a person. Baik orang kata, buruk orang kata, tak buat apa pun orang tetap akan kata. Begitu lah lumrahnya. Orang akan nampak kesalahan you lebih dari kebaikan yang you buat. Apa yang I boleh kongsikan dari pengalaman I sendiri, don’t listen to any of them. I banyak dengar benda-benda tak baik orang cakap pasal I dari zaman sekolah lagi. Backstabber, fitnah, gosip, keyboard warrior, dan komen pedas dari ustaz ustazah segera semua tu pun I dah kena. Tu belum bab grammar bila cakap Bahasa Inggeris. Melayu bab ni no.1, memang nazi habis! Ada je nak condemn.
*btw to haters, kurang2 boyfriend I mat saleh, kawan2 i pun banyak mat saleh. Kau?” *Flip hair*.
It will give you pressure and you will be sad about it but don’t drag it for too long. Just learn not to care what anyone says, don’t stop learning to improve yourself and don’t let the behaviour of others destroy your inner peace.
I LIVE A SIMPLE LIFE.
I dari dulu lagi bukan someone yang suka shopping barang branded. While most woman sibuk dengan expensive stuff such as Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Prada or Chanel, I truly don’t give a damn with all these things. Benda ni juga yang buatkan hati I tenang sebab mentality “nanti orang cakap apa pulak” tak ada dalam diri I. I tak pernah rasa nak compete with anyone else. Apa yang penting, I tahu yang i still can be a fashionable person tak kira la berapa budget pun yang i ada. But, this doesn’t mean I only buy and use cheap stuff (not all cheap stuff ni bagus). I pun beli expensive beauty products and clothing but I’m not too obsessed with it. I’m not that kind of person who likes to show off my stuff and later living my life to other people’s expectations. I always remind myself not to lose my pride and dignity just because I want to live a fancy life.
I KEEP TRACK OF MY PERSONAL FINANCES.
I tak pakai credit card to purchase everything. My credit card only for travel purpose to buy a flight ticket and hotel booking. For shopping, I hanya pakai duit yang ada dalam prepaid card i. Untuk kemudahan i sendiri, I sediakan 3 saving accounts for myself – Primary accounts (Salary & to pay all my bills), Travel account & Emergency account. Each month I akan transfer duit from my Primary account to other saving accounts. I juga akan transfer some money to Big Prepaid Mastercard (Prepaid Card) so everytime when I purchase with this card, I dapat kumpul points to redeem for flight ticket and hotel. Easy peasy!
HAVING AN INSURANCE & INVESTMENT.
This is something for the future yang semua orang mesti kena ada. Melayu banyak tak ambil kisah about Medical Insurance. Fyi, sekarang kerja government pun kena bayar tau untuk sesetengah ubat dan treatment. Kurang-kurang pun kena bayar pakai duit sendiri dulu, claim kemudian. Tapi sementara nak claim, mana nak cari duit kalau dah beribu? Sebab tu, Medical Insurance ni something yang sangat important for all of us to have because you never know what will happen to you in the future. And one more thing, never get involved with multi-level marketing (MLM)! Don’t ever mess your life with something like this.
AND FINALLY, LOVE YOURSELF.
There will always be people who “appear” to be better off than you and seemingly live the perfect life. Be advised, their life is never as perfect as your mind makes it out to be. Everyone is on their own timeline and you choose the life you live every day. It is your choice and you have responsibility for your choices. Don’t compare yourself to others. You will never be happy. Even if you feel that you are not perfect, you can always learn how to make yourself look perfect. If you don’t know how to do makeup, learn. If you don’t know how to dress up, learn. If you don’t know a foreign language, learn. You can learn almost everything in life. All you need to do is to ask yourself whether you willing to learn it or not.
We all have haters no matter how good we are. The biggest blocks of our happiness are caring what they think. Happy people don’t care for that. I don’t care what people think of me. What matter is what me and my parents think of myself. Other people’s opinion and approval don’t matter. Not just a hater, sometimes you have to deal with an annoying friend or somebody who is just really self-destructive. Dump them. This is an amazing life hack that most people overlook. Konon sayang kawan. Let go of your toxic friends. There is a quote “You are the average of the five people you spend the most of your time with”. Take a look around. Sometimes it’s the people that are just dragging you down.
Until then …