How I Start Living A Happier & Self-Kinder Life

I still remember masa I mula-mula bekerja di Putrajaya, life was tough. Makan pun sekali sehari. Ada rezeki lebih, dapat la makan nasi. Kalau tak, hari-hari biskut, roti dan megi. Saving memang tak ada langsung. Tahun 2010 hingga tahun 2014 adalah tahun I banyak dapat dugaan. Semua I tanggung sorang-sorang. I was unhappy with my life back then and struggled with depression too. I cried myself to sleep almost every night because I tak boleh terima jalan hidup I.

 

SOMETIMES KINDNESS COMES FROM A STRANGER.

Everything has changed when I met Wanni and someone yang I anggap macam kakak I sendiri, Kak Shaliza. My life memang tahap paling flat that time. I almost gave up with the silent battles I was fighting but they picked me up while I was still a stranger to them. They believed in me, supported me through all the hard times and gave me strength. Wanni banyak kenalkan I with people in the modelling industry. She lent me her money too walaupun I tak minta and sometimes dia akan tanya “kau ada duit tak?” to make sure I have enough money to survive. I mula buat modelling job to earn extra money. Since then my life has dramatically changed. I’ve learned a lot of useful things to improve myself, I started to have enough money to buy things I desire and I dapat kenal ramai orang to make friends with. But now, I dah quit modelling. Alhamdulillah, hidup I jauh berbeza than before. I am so proud of who I am now – who I have become. To Wanni and Kak Shaliza (not to forget : Farah, Sara & Yaya – who used to be my best friend, Ajib – my colleague). I will never forget your kindness and generosity. 

 

Me on Magazines :

 

WHAT I WANT IN LIFE.

On November 2015, someone yang i anggap as my big brother (i called him Peter) said this to me This world needs someone like u. Stop hiding and step out of your comfort zone..”. To him, i can easily make other people happy. We had a serious conversation that day and his words motivate me and made me realize what hidden talent i have. Since then, i know what i should do in life. I want to help people, inspire and motivate them (this blog is one of the medium for this reason too), go to new places as much as i could, meet new people, learn about other culture, collect more knowledge, do volunteer work and again, give inspiration to others.

 

I DON’T LET MONEY CONTROL MY LIFE.

Duit memang diperlukan dalam kehidupan seharian but if u let money to be your priority in life (bila sembang cakap pasal duit, bila makan cakap pasal duit, tak happy salahkan duit, everything is about duit), trust me sampai bila pun kau tak akan rasa senang because you’re letting money control your life. Be grateful with what you have, and stop complaining. Sometimes the problem is in you. Your mindset and the way you live your life. Then, jangan kedekut terutamanya bila melibatkan makanan. Jangan kedekut untuk bagi duit dekat parents, adik-beradik or beli something for them. Jangan kedekut untuk bagi makan dekat haiwan and yang paling penting jangan kedekut untuk bagi sedekah. Jangan kedekut untuk bagi tip dekat delivery guy, jangan kedekut untuk bagi duit to random strangers yang kita nampak susah. Jangan ungkit segala kebaikkan yang kita dah buat. Ini pegangan hidup I. Alhamdulillah, Rezeki I sangat murah.

 


YOUR WORLD DOESN’T END THERE JUST BECAUSE…

Just because someone don’t have a college degree, doesn’t mean they’re not smart. Honestly, I am a high school graduate with good grades but I tak pernah further my studies. Not because I didn’t want to but I chose to take responsibility at my young age for my family. Tapi tak semua orang faham benda ni and some people even seen me as an uneducated person just because I don’t have a college degree. I used to be shy, had very low self esteem because of this matter and I need to dealt with it for such a long time. Until I realized life is not all about a college degree, it’s what you do with your life that counts. Even though I’m earning minimum wage for my full-time job, I managed to buy a house for my parents when i was 27 years old, bought a car with my own money, can afford to pay my own bills and health insurance by age 23, and travel abroad by age 28. My life is not great but i can achieved all these in my 20’s. The key is to believe in yourself and your dream. Never stop fighting and never stop learning because life always give something to learn. And remember, everyone you will ever meet know something you don’t. Never look down on others. No one can predict the future.

 

I MINIMIZE MY LIFE & SELL MY OLD STUFF.

Sebelum ni I like to buy things for my collection such as books, dvd’s, fashion accessories and clothing. I also obsessed with beauty products. Tapi, since I know what I want in life and I put it as my priority, I jual balik semua barang-barang yang I tak perlukan di app Carousell dan juga Mudah. Duit yang I dapat, I terus simpan ke dalam saving account dan everytime bila I rasa I nak beli something, I akan tanya diri I sendiri if that thing adalah keperluan ataupun tidak. If bukan, I won’t buy it. I dah banyak membazir duit I sebelum ni and I won’t repeat the same mistake again.

 

Me & My Colleague

I PROTECT MYSELF FROM OTHER PEOPLE’S NEGATIVITY.

There will always be haters. And the more you grow the more they hate; the more they hate the more you grow”

People will always have something to say about you no matter how good you are as a person. Baik orang kata, buruk orang kata, tak buat apa pun orang tetap akan kata. Begitu lah lumrahnya. Orang akan nampak kesalahan kau lebih dari kebaikan kau. Apa yang I boleh kongsikan dari pengalaman I sendiri, don’t listen to them. I banyak dengar benda-benda tak baik orang cakap pasal I dari zaman sekolah lagi. Backstabber, fitnah, gosip, keyboard warrior, dan komen pedas dari ustaz ustazah segera semua tu pun I dah kena. Tu belum bab grammar bila cakap Bahasa Inggeris. Melayu bab ni no.1, memang nazi habis! Ada je nak condemn. 

*btw to haters, kurang2 boyfriend I mat saleh, kawan2 i pun banyak mat saleh. Kau hado?” *Flip hair*. 

It will give you pressure and you will be sad about it but don’t drag it for too long. Just learn not to care what anyone says, don’t stop learning to improve yourself and don’t let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.  

 
I LIVE A SIMPLE LIFE.

I dari dulu bukan someone yang suka shopping barang branded. While most woman sibuk dengan expensive stuff such as Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Prada or Chanel, I truly don’t give a damn with all these things. Benda ni juga yang buatkan hati I tenang sebab mentality “nanti orang cakap apa pulak” tak ada dalam diri I. I tak pernah rasa nak compete with anyone else. Apa yang penting, I still can be a fashionable person and make myself look good walaupun dengan minimum budget. But this doesn’t mean I only buy and use cheap stuff. Not all cheap stuff are good. I do buy expensive beauty products and clothing but i’m not too obsessed with it. I don’t like to show off my stuff and later living my life to other people’s expectations. Always remember, never lose your pride and dignity just because you want to live a fancy life.

 


I KEEP TRACK OF MY PERSONAL FINANCES.

I tak pakai credit card to purchase everything. My credit card only for travel purpose to buy flight ticket and hotel booking. When I buy flight ticket with my credit card, I automatically di cover oleh travel insurance dalam masa yang sama I dapat kumpul reward points. For shopping, I pakai apa yang ada dalam akaun bank I. Untuk kemudahan I juga, I sediakan 3 saving accounts for myself – Primary accounts (salary & to pay all my bills), Travel account & Emergency account. Each month I akan transfer duit from my Primary account to other saving accounts. I juga akan transfer some money to Big Prepaid Mastercard (Prepaid Card) so everytime when I purchase with this card, I dapat kumpul points to redeem for flight ticket and hotel. Easy peasy!

 

HAVING AN INSURANCE & INVESTMENT.

This is something for the future yang semua orang mesti kena ada. Melayu banyak tak ambil kisah about Medical Insurance. Fyi, sekarang kerja goverment pun kena bayar tau untuk sesetengah ubat dan treatment. Kurang-kurang pun kena bayar pakai duit sendiri dulu, claim kemudian. Tapi sementara nak claim, mana nak cari duit kalau dah beribu? Sebab tu, Medical Insurance is something yang sangat important for all of us to have because you never know what will happen to you in the future. And one more thing, never get involved with multi level marketing (MLM)! Don’t mess your life with something like this. 

 


AND FINALLY, LOVE YOURSELF. 

There will always be people who “appear” to be better off than you and seemingly live the perfect life. Be advised, their life is never as perfect as your mind makes it out to be. Everyone is on their own timeline and you choose the life you live everyday. It is your choice and you have responsibility for your choices. Don’t compare yourself to others. You will never be happy. Even if you feel that you are not perfect, you can always learn how to make yourself look perfect. If you don’t know how to do make up, learn. If you don’t know how to dress up, learn. If you don’t know foreign language, learn. You can learn almost everything in life. All you need to do is to ask yourself whether you willing to learn or not. 

Again,

We all have haters no matter how good we are. The biggest blocks to our happiness is caring what they think. Happy people don’t care for that. I don’t care what people think about me. What matter is what me and my parents think about myself. Other people’s opinion and approval doesn’t matter. Not just a hater, sometimes you have to deal with an annoying friend or somebody who is just really self-destructive. Dump them. This is an amazing life hack that most people overlook. Konon sayang kawan. Let go of your toxic friends. There is a quote “You are the average of the five people you spend the most of your time with”. Take a look around. Sometimes it’s the people that are just dragging you down.

Until then …

One thought on “How I Start Living A Happier & Self-Kinder Life

  1. Oh Hani, such wise words! And those are great rules to live by, too. I didn’t have that kind of wisdom at your age, and only now am paying the price of not realizing earlier that spending lots of money (on things that you can live without in the first place) is not only toxic, it doesn’t guarantee happiness at all. Having money helps, but only after you really know what you want in life, and not let others dictate you, can you truly be happy… am going to take up your tips here and hope it’ s not too late for me (for i am quite old, i’m practically ancient) to improve my life. Keep on sharing blog entries. It’s refreshing to see the world through someone else’s point of view. Cheers!

    p/s: Thank god I look okay in that raya pic. Kalau tak I demand you take it down, take the whole blog down hahaha!

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