People often misinterpret us ; independent woman, for not wanting love or companionship. But, the truth is, we do need a man in our lives and it takes the right type of man to recognize, and be comfortable with us. This is because we understand that personal power is not about not needing someone, but about the ability to set standards and only welcome the people into our lives who meet the bar. As an independent, hard-working, persistent and determined woman, i’ve got a lot to say about this topic. It is indeed a very interesting topic for me to write. So, to all men out there, if you’ve met a woman and she’s clearly strong, independent, and maybe puts even a little bit of fear in you because she is so badass, here’s what to expect :
1. We don’t believe in clinginess.
Expect us to do our own thing often and without letting you know, at least at first. It’s not that you don’t matter; it’s just that we learned to love doing what we wants, when we wants, and without asking permission or informing anyone. We just used to it and it’s become our second nature. We understand that a ‘significant other’ is a part of our lives, not our entire life. In short, we have a life outside of you. Maybe to you, a relationship is all about do things together but when you’re in a relationship with an independent woman, it doesn’t work that way. If you want a woman to totally obsessed with the relationship you have with her, then an independent woman is not for you. Period.
2. We need enough privacy.
More often than not, we are going to need our own space because we used to having it. We don’t mind if you don’t call or text us every second. We even like it when you give us privacy doing our own things such as writing, watching movies, travelling, etc. Don’t get us wrong, it doesn’t mean we have lost interest in you. But, we are the kind of woman who focused on our own mission and path in life. We really need our own space to do our own things and we don’t look for validation from others.
3. We have our own standards.
This doesn’t mean you need to be a billionaire who looks like Chris Evans, but it does mean you have to have your own shit together and respect us. We are not going to be your mom, your babysitter, or your financial provider. For an example, I worked day and night by age 19, bought my own car at the age 20, living on my own by the age 23, bought a house and managed to travel alone at the age 28, I pay my own bills, my taxes, and I wake up every morning without to have someone wake me up. Do you think a woman like me will ever date a guy with so many excuses in his life? That he can’t do the things i can? Obviously, Nope!
4. We are stubborn.
Expect us to be stubborn, to always want things our way, and to fight you when we don’t get things we want. We have been independent and in control our whole life- so we are not used to not being in control of the decisions. We will get used to any help and suggestions you can offer- in the meantime let us realize that you can offer things we can’t offer ourselves.
5. We don’t keep what we don’t want and we don’t chase what we don’t need.
If we’ve lost interest in you, you’ll know because we will have ended the relationship. If we aren’t sure about you, you’ll know, because we will have said something. There’s simply nothing more infuriating than the good old “slowly ignore you until you get the hint” method, simply because a lot of people never do get the hint. The point is: if we’re into you, we will make it overtly obvious. We don’t play games. We have shit to do.
6. We are not afraid of being alone or do things alone.
Being alone is our default, it’s our comfort zone. One of the things that I am very proud of as an independent woman is that I don’t need to rely on anyone else to be happy. I have learned from many relationships, with friends and with boys, that you can’t rely on other people because they won’t always be there. The conclusions, we independent woman are the type of woman that you can see us watching movie alone, eating at the restaurant alone or even travelling alone. We see all this as the freedom and we are simply not afraid to take an adventure on our own.
7. We are not needy.
Expect the feeling of us not to need you or want to get distant from you while the truth is, actually we do really need you. Just, maybe not in the way you expected. We often get very frustrated with extremely needy, co-dependent people. This frustration may make us seem callous or icy, but it’s more about wanting to see people help themselves.
8. You may wonder whether you’re needed in our lives.
At times, we may seem so self-reliant, content and in control that you may wonder whether you’re needed in our lives. You are. We are confident and directed but cherish someone who appreciates, rather than fears, these qualities.
9. We aren’t going to share absolutely everything with you.
We usually come across as strong, maybe too strong for you at first because this is our outer shell. And when you get to know us, you’ll know we are strong but soft; tough but kind. Expect us to be reserved, at least about the things that matter. Until you really get to know us. And then you’ll see the untamed, raw, and always beautiful open version of us that we’ll let you fully discover. We’ll be slow with our vulnerabilities, and hide many of our weaknesses. We will show you how we feel in our own ways. It is important for our man to be able to hear what the woman in his life doesn’t say, as well as what she does.
10. We rarely ask for help.
Independent woman are the type of people who are hardly ask for help. But deep in their heart, they wanted someone else to sense their distress, anticipate their needs, and gracefully lend a hand. Even small doses of support can have a big impact for her.
11. We know how to save money and actively interested in planning for our own retirement.
12. The idea of getting married sounds great to us, but only with the right person.
But, we’re perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves if need be. We choose to be in relationship because we like you, not because we can’t live without you. And, sometimes, instead of a romantic partner, we secretly want to marry a cook / cleaning person / personal trainer / masseuse / stylist versus anybody else. If you happen to be one or more of these things, we will love you even more!
13. We like affection. Lots of affection.
We still love a big hug, kisses and to be told how much we’re loved. Tell us we look pretty every now and then and don’t let us shrug it off. Independence will never trump the desire to feel adored.
14. We need unwavering support.
The right type of man for a strong woman will know when to stand in front of her when she needs protection, behind her when she needs support, and beside her when she wants a teammate.
15. We will always loves ourselves more.
I mean you’re great, but at the end of the day, everyone only has themselves to count on and we know whose back to have : Our own.
And finally, I am absolutely not saying that I don’t need anyone in my life because I do. I live for the good times and good laughs with people around me. I can’t even wait for the time that i finally can spend my life with the love of my life and he love me for who I am. So, if you want to date an independent woman, dig a little deeper. She might not be all so bad.
Good luck! 🙂