We all make mistakes. You say something you shouldn’t have. Hit snooze too many times and end up rushing through your morning. Keep a part of your past from your partner, telling yourself it’s not that important. Say yes when you mean no. Spend money on something you definitely didn’t need. Take a wrong turn—literally or metaphorically—even though your gut whispers, “Don’t do it.”

Then comes that sinking feeling—the one that hits right after you’ve made a decision you knew wasn’t the best. You brushed off the warning signs, convinced yourself it would be fine, only to end up exactly where you feared.

And when things go south, what do we say?

“I didn’t mean to.”

“It was just a mistake.”

Because, let’s be honest—that makes everything feel a little less painful. A little less our fault.

But what if, deep down, some part of you did mean to? What if you saw the warning signs, felt the hesitation…and still chose to ignore it?

Was It Really an Accident… or a Choice?

Some mistakes are pure accidents—spilling coffee on your desk, forgetting a birthday, misreading a text, stubbing your toe on the door, watching in horror as a glass slips from your hand and shatters on the floor.

Life happens. No harm, no foul.

But many mistakes? They come from choices we made, whether we fully admit it or not.

🛑 You shared a secret you weren’t supposed to, telling yourself it wasn’t a big deal—until it came back to haunt you.

🛑 You skipped the gym, swearing you’d go tomorrow… but let’s be real, tomorrow has a habit of turning into next week, then next month, then suddenly it’s “new year, new me” all over again.

🛑 You forgot to delete your ex’s photos from your phone—not because you wanted to keep them, but because you ‘never really check your gallery.’ Or at least, that’s what you tell yourself.

🛑 You cheated on your partner—not because you planned to, but because it was just one time. Until it wasn’t. One small cover-up turned into a habit.

It’s easy to blame circumstances, bad timing, or even the universe itself. “It just happened!” we tell ourselves.

But if we rewind the tape, there were moments—tiny pauses, gut feelings, hesitations—where we had a chance to choose differently.

And yet, we didn’t.

So…were they really mistakes? Or did some part of us, in the moment, want them to happen—or at least expect that they might?

Why Do We “Accidentally” Make Mistakes?

💭 Hopeful Denial – Maybe this time will be different. Maybe they’ve changed. Maybe you’ve changed. Maybe this obviously bad idea will magically work out. Spoiler alert: it usually doesn’t, but we convince ourselves otherwise because hope feels better than admitting the truth.

🔥 Emotional Impulses – Feelings have a way of hijacking logic. In the moment, it feels right. Comforting. Fun. Like a good idea. Until later, when your rational brain finally catches up, you’re left wondering, “Why did I do that?”

🚫 Lack of Boundaries – Saying no is hard. So instead, you convince yourself you have to say yes—to avoid disappointing someone, to keep the peace, to not seem like the bad guy. But in doing that, you disappoint yourself.

🌀 Self-Sabotage – Sometimes, happiness, success, or even stability feel too foreign. Too good. So, without realizing it, you create chaos where there doesn’t need to be any. You trip yourself up before you even reach the finish line—because part of you isn’t sure you deserve to cross it.

Until then, Hani.