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Like everyone else, I slightly dreaded turning 30 when I was in my late 20s. It felt like stepping into some mysterious void where I would no longer be “young,” and time would start slipping through my fingers like sand. There was this invisible pressure to have everything figured out before the big 3-0, and spoiler alert—I didn’t.

Now that I’m actually in my 30s, I have to admit, it feels pretty damn good.

Let’s set aside the fact that my joints now have their own background music (creaks and pops) and that my back occasionally protests like a tired employee on strike. And fine, I’m not as physically fit as Jennifer Lopez, who defies aging with a rock-hard body and the ability to pole dance in her 50s (#cryinginside, I aspire to be like that). But let me tell you—getting older isn’t all bad. In fact, my 30s have been wonderful, even better than my 20s in so many ways.

With each passing year, the internal side of my life—my mindset, confidence, and outlook—keeps improving. Trust me, as much as you might resist turning 30, it happens. And when it does, you might just realize that things start falling into place in ways you never expected.

There have been a lot of changes over the past decade: prime ministers, phone sizes, my cat’s belly, my neighbour’s husband, my mom’s mood swings, and Justin Bieber’s hairstyle. 😁

But here are the biggest life changes I’ve noticed in my 30s:

1. My Nightlife: Home Is Where the Comfort Is

In my 20s: While most people spent their 20s partying, clubbing, and making memories they’d later regret, I spent mine mostly working. Between my full-time job, modelling, and a side hustle, my schedule was packed. My days were filled with work, photoshoots, and fashion shows, and they often ended late at night. I basically worked 24/7. I never really had much of this “fun nightlife,” but I frequently found myself being outside my home until late at night hanging out with friends, which was pretty much just for a meal, movies, or work-related reasons. 

In my 30s: After my cholesteatoma surgery, I re-evaluated my priorities. Now, I focus on my well-being, travel more, spend time with loved ones, and do things that genuinely bring me joy. These days, my idea of a perfect night involves cozying up at home with movies, books, video games, and, of course—writing. The mere thought of being out past 10 p.m.? Unthinkable. If you somehow convince me to go out for dinner, know that I’ll be checking the time like Cinderella before her carriage turns into a pumpkin.

2. Arguments: Less Drama, More Peace

In my 20s: One of my ex-boyfriends once told me, “You’re always angry.” 🤣 And honestly, he had a point. I had a short fuse and zero patience. If something bothered me, I had to speak up immediately. I’d argue with haters, respond to every negative comment, and waste my energy justifying myself to people who didn’t deserve an explanation.

In my 30s: I have better control over my emotions and mastered the art of choosing my battles. These days, my peace is more important than being “right.” When I’m angry, frustrated, or disappointed, I take deep breaths, remove myself from the situation, and let music soothe my soul before responding. I no longer feel the need to explain myself to everyone—time will always reveal the truth.

3. Dating & Relationships: I Know My Worth

In my 20s: I have the impression that I spent my 20s searching for “The One,” convinced that I needed to be married by 28. I was clingy, insecure, and too focused on getting attention from my partners. If a guy ignored me, I’d spiral into overthinking mode and send long, dramatic texts (yes, I was that girl—judge me, I deserve it). I didn’t know myself well or what I wanted, and I got jealous over silly things. I also put up with mistreatment because I thought love required endurance. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.

In my 30s: Practicing self-love is the best thing I’ve ever done. I love my freedom and genuinely enjoy my own company. I’m so glad I didn’t get married in my 20s because it wasn’t until I hit my 30s that I started to have clarity about who I am and what I want. If a guy comes into my life, great. If he doesn’t, also great. I no longer chase people or beg for attention. If he matches my energy, cool. If not, I’ll gracefully exit with a simple “Okay.” I won’t allow anyone to come into my life and ruin it. If they don’t contribute in any way that could increase my happiness, I don’t bother to keep them in my life. 

4. Friendships: Quality Over Quantity

In my 20s: I had a huge social circle. No matter where I went, I had someone to talk to. But not all of those friendships were real or healthy. I often found myself pretending to be someone I wasn’t just to fit in. I eventually started cutting people off in my late 20s.

In my 30s: I’m not as friendly as I once was. As I get older, I care less and less about making friends with everyone. My circle is small but meaningful. I only keep people around who bring me peace, support me, and let me be my authentic self. I’d rather have a few close friends who truly care than a hundred acquaintances who don’t.

5. Health, Diet & Beauty: Priorities Have Shifted

In my 20s: I had flawless skin without even trying. Makeup was my best friend, and I never left the house without it. I was also naturally skinny, so working out and dieting were foreign concepts. In fact, I hated exercise.

In my 30s: Reality hit—ageing requires effort. My skin started acting up, so now I invest in proper skincare (which, by the way, is ridiculously expensive—send help). I also prioritize a healthier lifestyle, exercising regularly and eating better to maintain my ideal weight. Makeup? I now rarely want to use it. My focus is more on having healthy-looking skin so that I can use little to no makeup. I also started practicing yoga, going for runs, and doing other workouts. Now that I am at my ideal weight, to maintain it, I need to continue to follow an appropriate diet and engage in regular physical activity.

6. Phone Addiction: From Social Butterfly to Selective Texter

In my 20s: My phone was practically glued to my hand. I was constantly on social media—posting, scrolling, chatting, and sharing every little detail of my life.

In my 30s: My phone usage has drastically changed. I only use my phone for specific reasons, such as work purposes, emergencies, staying in touch with family, and talking to someone important to me. I don’t even bother to look at my phone for anything else. As I write this, it has been more than 12 hours since I last looked at my phone. I rarely want to look at my phone unless I hear a certain ringtone that I’ve set up for people I want to pay attention to. I’m also barely active on social media, and I don’t feel the need to update the world about my life. I reply to messages when I feel like it (sorry, not sorry), and I prefer meaningful conversations over endless small talk.

My Life in General

Being in my 30s has made me realize how fortunate I am in so many ways. Instead of dwelling on what I lack, I focus on what I have and what I can control, which brings me a deeper sense of happiness. I’ve become more private, valuing clarity about myself, my life, and my relationships. I take accountability for my experiences rather than blaming others, and I handle challenges with more patience and composure. Other people’s opinions matter less now, as I prioritize my happiness and well-being. By this age, I’ve removed toxic relationships, leaving me with a drama-free life surrounded by those who truly care. While I still struggle with my obsessive attention to detail and perfectionism, I am learning to let go and embrace a more balanced approach.

Final Thoughts

Being in my 30s feels like finally exhaling after holding my breath for years. I no longer live for external validation, and I embrace who I am—flaws, quirks, and all. If you’re in your 20s, don’t stress too much about turning 30. It’s not the end of the world; it’s the beginning of a more peaceful, confident, and fulfilling chapter.

And if you’re already in your 30s, welcome to the club. We have cozy nights in, good skincare routines, and an unshakable sense of self-worth. Life just keeps getting better from here.

X, Hani. ♥