Wanderhoney

“So… what have we actually achieved this year?”

That’s the question I tossed at my close friend at work. The moment it slipped out, we both burst into laughter—because honestly, we already knew the answer.

It was one of those dull, grey office days, so I wandered into his room just to chat. Surprisingly, it ended up being one of the best decisions I’d made in days—mostly because I hadn’t properly talked to anyone in… well, quite a while. We started sharing everything we’d been struggling with this year: how life didn’t seem to be improving and how our finances definitely weren’t getting any better. 😂

But in the end, we tried to cheer ourselves up by saying that at least our hearts are still rich—even if I keep saying that I’ve crossed over to the dark side. Haha. 😁

We’ve been close friends for four years now, and over time, we’ve come to understand each other’s stories—our highs, lows, and everything in between. When I’m struggling, there’s really no one else I’d rather talk to than someone who actually gets me. And the best part? We’re both Swifties. And Swifties always look out for each other, right? 🥰 That conversation with him felt like lifting a weight off my chest. It helped me close at least one tab in my brain, and now I feel a bit clearer about what I want to do next.

Still, if I’m being honest, I don’t think I’ve made massive progress on the goals I set for myself this year. But when I look at other parts of my life—especially emotionally—I can definitely say I’m in a better place than I was last year. Despite all the things life threw at me, I’m more at peace with myself. My mind feels steadier, stronger.

And hey—I even got something I’ve always wanted: a Sony camera! 😍 A tiny dream come true and definitely a reward for getting through the rough moments. So even though the year had its challenges, it wasn’t all bad. I know I can do even better if I keep pushing myself. But for now, I’m happy, and I’m grateful.

And… it’s 3:30 AM, and I still haven’t slept.

Well, I did sleep for a bit—I went to bed around 1:00 AM. But about 40 minutes later, I woke up from a dream involving a python and a white snake under my bed. I instantly jumped up, turned on the lights, checked underneath—thankfully nothing there. But I’ve been wide awake ever since. I told myself I’d take a writing break to fix my sleep pattern, but clearly the universe said, “Nope.” And honestly? Writing at this hour just feels right.

I wanted to text Jay like I usually do, but he’s busy watching FIFA and dealing with life, so… I’ll let him be.

Anyway… it seems like my nightmares are making a comeback.

They stopped for a good while, but now every time I close my eyes, it feels like I’ve walked straight into a horror movie. People keep telling me my love for horror films is the reason, but that’s not true. Horror was never the cause—it was the coping mechanism. I’ve dealt with recurring nightmares since I was a kid, long before I ever watched a single scary movie. I only started watching them as a teen to build courage and face my fears head-on. And guess what? It worked.

Now I’m braver than I should be. If we were trapped in a creepy place with a group of people, I’d probably be the one leading everyone out—responsible for everyone’s survival… or their demise. 😂

If anyone out there ever studies nightmares, night terrors, or sleep paralysis, count me in. I’d happily participate—as long as you pay me. As the Joker once said… 😂

It’s almost 6 AM now, and I should really try to sleep… not because I’m tired, but because my cat has been right by my side since the moment I woke up. He’s stayed next to me this whole time, only leaving to eat or drink before coming right back. So loyal. So supportive.

Basically, the kind of man I’ve never had in my life—just in cat form. 😂

Okay, I’m going to try to get at least an hour of sleep. I didn’t spend much time editing this post since it’s more of a raw, late-night brain dump, but honestly? I’m feeling pretty confident in it. I’ll read it again when I wake up.

Take care, everyone!

X, Hani. ❤