The Importance of Letting People Cope in Their Own Way

Yesterday, I came across an article about Janna Nick apologising for sharing posts related to her recent heartbreak. She also admitted that she isn’t mature enough. First of all, let me be clear—I’ve never been a fan of hers. I barely pay attention to Malaysia’s entertainment industry. I only recognise a few names because my family and friends occasionally talk about Malaysian artists, but I don’t watch Malaysian dramas or movies, nor do I listen to Malaysian music. However, regardless of fame or status, one thing remains true: at the end of the day, they are human beings, just like the rest of us.

By nature, human beings are emotional creatures. We are driven by emotions, whether consciously or unconsciously. Our habits, routines, attitudes, and perceptions are all influenced by how we feel.

So, did Janna Nick do anything wrong by sharing her heartbreak? Absolutely not. Should she apologise for expressing her emotions? Also, no.

I’ve always believed that people’s behaviour should be understood through the lens of their age and life experiences. Every one of us has done things we later look back on and cringe at. Perfection is a myth—we learn and evolve only by allowing ourselves to make mistakes. I wanted to write about this topic because some people need a shift in perspective.

The DM That Sparked the Conversation

Janna Nick recently travelled to Italy alone to heal from her heartbreak. Like many people do, she shared posts with emotional captions, sad quotes, and reflections on her feelings. Then, a follower sent her this direct message:

“You’re so annoying. You broke up, just let it go. It makes you look bad. Have some respect for your ex and the relationship you had. They were good memories too, stop focusing on the bad ones.”

To whoever wrote that message—have you ever experienced heartbreak? Because if you have, you’d know how unbearably painful it can be. Heartbreak is not just an emotional wound; it can feel like physical pain. It lingers, making even the simplest tasks feel exhausting. The pain is especially intense for those going through their first serious heartbreak. So, why belittle someone for how they process their emotions?

Speaking from experience, when my past relationship ended, I didn’t think my ex deserved any of my respect. There weren’t enough good memories to outweigh the bad. It took years of healing and self-reflection before I could respect the relationship as a life lesson. So, if sharing your emotions makes you look bad in the eyes of others, who cares? Don’t let anyone manipulate you into believing that expressing yourself is a flaw.

Let People Heal in Their Own Way

We have no right to dictate how others cope with sadness or any struggle they’re facing. Even if their actions seem foolish or repetitive, that’s their way of processing emotions. If posting about heartbreak helps someone feel understood or connected to others with similar experiences, then let them do it. Sometimes, sharing pain online is a cry for support. A few kind words can go a long way in helping someone feel less alone.

So, if you have nothing nice to say, just stay silent.

Don’t be cruel on the internet. Maybe you have a more private way of handling struggles, but that doesn’t mean someone else’s way is wrong. Healing is not a linear process, and everyone navigates it differently. The emotions will fade eventually, and over time, they’ll outgrow the way they once coped. But in the moment, they should be free to express themselves however they need to.

Maturity Comes with Experience

Janna Nick is 27. When I was her age, I did things that, looking back, seemed immature or embarrassing. But that’s the beauty of growth—if I hadn’t made those mistakes, I wouldn’t be who I am today. My 20s were filled with trial and error, moments of self-discovery, and emotional ups and downs. Those experiences shaped me into someone who no longer rushes to judge others because I’ve been in their shoes.

Maturity isn’t something we are born with. It develops through our experiences, mistakes, and personal challenges. If you criticise people for being immature, consider this: attacking others online is also immature behaviour.

I know someone who is 38 but acts as if she’s still in her early 20s. Her behaviour reminded me of my own past, and I couldn’t help but wonder—why hasn’t she changed? A little digging revealed that she got married at 21. That explained everything. She skipped the self-exploration phase of her 20s, diving straight into the responsibilities of being a wife, mother, and daughter-in-law. She didn’t have the same opportunities to make mistakes and learn from them, so her emotional growth was stunted. This is why we should never be quick to judge—we don’t always know someone’s backstory.

Final Thoughts

We all have flaws. No one is superior to anyone else. Don’t judge or criticise people without understanding their journey. Some people may seem frustrating, but until you know their full story, you have no right to belittle them.

If someone shares their struggles online and you find it annoying, just scroll past. Their posts don’t affect your life in any way. You can control how you react—mute, unfollow, or ignore if it bothers you. But give people the freedom to cope however they need to.