Cheating scandals in Malaysia seem to be popping up faster than new bubble tea shops these days. Every time I open social media, there’s another juicy headline waiting for me. Someone got caught cheating. Another marriage is falling apart. Another relationship ended because someone decided loyalty was optional.
It’s disheartening, to say the least.
And if I’m being honest, I don’t think cheating is something I’ll ever understand.
If staying faithful feels like a chore, why bother getting into a relationship in the first place? What’s there to be proud of when it comes to cheating? You’re not just breaking someone’s trust. You’re hurting a person who genuinely loves you and willingly placing them in a position where they’ll question everything they thought they knew about your relationship.
People cheat for all sorts of reasons. Some feel neglected. Others crave attention and validation. Some fall out of love and choose the wrong way to deal with it. No matter the reason, however, I still can’t wrap my head around willingly becoming the reason another person struggles to trust again.
Love has never felt that complicated to me in that sense. If we’re happy, we stay. If we’re unhappy, we talk about it. If things no longer work, we leave.
What we don’t do is betray one another in the process.
And perhaps that’s why I’ll never understand cheating. Honestly, I don’t think I want to.
✅ My Personal Encounters with Infidelity
Unfortunately, I haven’t just read about cheating. I’ve had my own encounters with it too.
Years ago, I dated a man who turned out to be married. He convinced me he was single, but my gut instinct had been bothering me from the very beginning. A few months later, I found out I was right all along. And, of course, when I confronted him, he gave me the classic, “I’m unhappy in my marriage” explanation.
As if that somehow made the situation any better.
The truth is, whatever problems existed in his marriage had nothing to do with me. They weren’t mine to carry, and they certainly weren’t mine to fix. Walking away was one of the easiest decisions I’ve ever made.
And then there was another incident a few years ago.
A maintenance team came to my apartment to repair some floor tiles, and the next day, one of the workers texted me asking if we could be friends. It felt a little awkward, but I thought, “Sure, why not?”
That turned out to be a terrible idea.
One day, completely out of the blue, he told me:
“If we had met five years ago, I wouldn’t have married my wife.”
I’m sorry, what?
All I could think about was his wife. Imagine hearing the person you’ve chosen to spend your life with say something like that about another woman.
Things only became stranger after that. He would constantly look for reasons to see me and ask if there was anything else in my apartment that needed fixing. Then one day, he sent me a message saying:
“I feel stressed at work today. Can we meet? Talking to you makes me feel better.”
And all I could think was:
“Bro, don’t you have a wife for that?”
Perhaps that’s why boundaries matter so much to me. I don’t care how unhappy someone is in their relationship or marriage. If they’re committed to another person, they’re simply not my place to stand in.
Instead of dealing with his nonsense, I stopped making complaints about my apartment and learned how to fix things myself.
Problem solved.
✅ The Problem with Cheaters and Boundary-Crossers
I have zero tolerance for married people or those in committed relationships who fail to set boundaries. The moment you begin entertaining someone outside your relationship, you’ve already taken the first step toward cheating. It’s not always physical affairs that destroy relationships. Emotional cheating can be just as devastating, sometimes even worse.
Even though I’m single, I make it a point to set boundaries when I know someone is taken. It doesn’t matter how much I fancy them or how wonderful they may seem. If they have a partner, they’re simply off-limits. No exceptions. No “what ifs.”
Just plain and simple respect.
Perhaps I feel so strongly about this because loyalty has always mattered to me. I simply don’t understand what could possibly be worth throwing away the love and trust of someone who has stood beside you. Temporary excitement eventually fades, but the pain we leave behind can stay with someone for years.
Relationships aren’t always easy, but cheating has never felt like one of those struggles to me. Loving another person is a choice, and so is betraying them.
I’m someone who values honesty deeply. I refuse to become the reason a relationship falls apart, and I will never play the role of the “other woman.” Either a man has me as his one and only, or he doesn’t have me at all. I don’t share my love, my attention, or my heart. If I can give my whole heart to one person, I believe it’s perfectly reasonable to expect the same in return.
✅ The Devastating Impact of Cheating
Building a life with someone takes time. It’s found in the little things we often take for granted. The late-night conversations, the promises we make, the difficult days we survive together, and the quiet comfort of knowing someone has chosen us.
And perhaps that’s why betrayal feels so devastating.
The worst part about cheating isn’t simply that someone was dishonest. It’s knowing that they willingly placed their own desires above everything the two of you built together.
I know people cheat for all sorts of reasons. Some feel neglected or unfulfilled. Others crave attention and validation. And then there are those who do it simply because they can. No matter the excuse, however, I still can’t wrap my head around it.
Why not talk to your partner? Why not work through your issues together? If you’re unhappy, why not just leave? Why betray someone who trusts you?
Relationships aren’t always easy. Loving another human being comes with misunderstandings, difficult conversations, and seasons where things don’t feel quite as effortless as they once did. That’s simply part of being in a relationship.
Cheating, however, has never felt like one of those struggles to me. It’s a choice.
And honestly, why even bother being in a relationship at all if loyalty feels like too much to ask?
✅ It All Comes Down to Respect
Every relationship is different. Some struggle with communication, others face emotional distance, and some simply grow apart over time. Relationships are rarely perfect, and challenges are simply part of loving another human being. No matter how difficult things become, however, one thing should always remain constant: respect.
Respect isn’t found only in the big moments. It’s found in the choices we make every single day. It’s choosing honesty when lying would be easier. It’s remaining loyal even when no one else is watching. It’s protecting the person who trusts you, even when they’re not around.
Cheating isn’t just about breaking a promise. It’s breaking the trust that two people have spent months or even years building together. Once that trust is gone, it’s incredibly difficult to put the pieces back together again.
Relationships don’t always last forever, and there’s nothing wrong with admitting that. People change. Feelings change. Life changes. What I don’t believe should ever disappear, however, is respect.
If we’re unhappy, we talk about it. If things can no longer be fixed, we leave. Respect should remain in both situations.
At the end of the day, I don’t think that’s asking for too much.
✅ A Love Worth Honoring
At the end of the day, love has never felt that complicated to me. It’s choosing the same person over and over again, even on the ordinary days. It’s protecting their heart in rooms they’ll never step foot in and remaining loyal when no one else is watching.
No relationship is perfect, and not every relationship is meant to last forever. People change, circumstances change, and sometimes we simply grow apart. There’s nothing wrong with admitting that something is no longer working.
What I’ll never understand, however, is choosing betrayal when honesty has always been an option.
If we’re unhappy, we talk about it. If things can no longer be fixed, we leave. What we don’t do is destroy another person in the process.
Perhaps that’s why loyalty has never felt like a sacrifice to me. It’s simply the bare minimum.
And I hope I’ll always feel that way.
True love deserves honesty. True love deserves respect. And if we’re lucky enough to find it, I hope we never take it for granted.
At the end of the day, love is a choice. And if we choose to love, let’s love with integrity.
X, Hani 🌻
