I Can’t Understand Why People Cheat–And I Never Will

Cheating scandals in Malaysia are popping up faster than new bubble tea shops. Every day, I wake up to yet another juicy headline—someone caught red-handed, another marriage down the drain.

It’s disheartening, to say the least. Seriously, what’s going on? If staying faithful feels like a chore, why bother getting into a relationship in the first place? What’s there to be proud of when it comes to cheating? You’re not just breaking someone’s trust; you’re wrecking the heart of a person who actually loves you and let’s be real—causing that kind of pain doesn’t make you a winner. It just makes you… well, a terrible person.

My Personal Encounters with Infidelity

Unfortunately, I haven’t just read about cheating—I’ve lived through it. Years ago, I was in a relationship with a man who, as it turned out, was married. He fooled me into believing he was single, but thanks to my strong gut instinct, I caught his lies just a few months in. And, of course, when I confronted him, he hit me with the classic “I’m unhappy in my marriage” excuse.

As if that somehow made it okay.

Let’s get one thing straight: If someone isn’t honest with you from the beginning, they never will be. That’s a fact. Whatever problems he had in his marriage were not my business. I wasn’t going to be a part of his mess, nor was I going to fix his poor life choices.

But wait—there’s more.

2 years ago, another incident happened. A maintenance team came to my apartment to repair the floor tiles. The next day, one of the workers texted me, wanting to be friends. It felt awkward but I hesitantly agreed, thinking, “Yeah, sure, why not?”

Big mistake.

One day, completely out of the blue, he said, “If we had met 5 years ago, I wouldn’t have married my wife.”

Excuse me, what?!

Imagine if his wife had heard that. What would she think?

He kept looking for excuses to see me, always asking if there was something he could fix in my apartment. Then one day, he texted:

“I feel stressed at work today. Can we meet? Talking to you makes me feel better.”

And all I could think was, “Bro, don’t you have a wife for that?”

Why marry someone if you’re not going to confide in them? Instead of dealing with his nonsense, I simply stopped making complaints about my apartment and learned to fix things myself. Problem solved.

The Problem with Cheaters and Boundary-Crossers

I have zero tolerance for married people—or those in committed relationships—who fail to set boundaries. The moment you entertain someone outside your relationship, you’ve already taken the first step toward cheating. It’s not just about physical affairs; emotional cheating can be just as destructive, sometimes even worse.

Even though I’m single, I make it a point to set boundaries when I know someone is taken. It doesn’t matter how much I fancy them—if they have a partner, they are off-limits. No exceptions. No “what ifs.”

Just plain and simple respect.

Maybe I feel so strongly about this because I’m a fiercely loyal person, but honestly, I don’t get why people cheat. What could possibly be worth throwing away the love and trust of someone who has stood by you? A fleeting rush? A temporary ego boost? It’s selfish. It’s reckless. In the end, it’s just not worth it.

Yes, every relationship comes with its own struggles but cheating? That’s not a struggle. That’s a conscious decision to betray the person you claim to love. Ultimate betrayal.

I’m someone who values honesty above all else. I refuse to be the reason a relationship falls apart, and I will never play the role of the ‘other woman.’ Either a man has me as his one and only, or he doesn’t have me at all. I don’t share my love, my attention, or my heart. Never have, never will. If I can give my all to one person, I expect the same in return.

The Devastating Impact of Cheating

Imagine building a life with someone—sharing hopes and dreams, standing by each other through every thick and thin—only to wake up one day and realize they’ve betrayed you. Maybe they’ve been secretly seeing someone else. Maybe they’ve formed an emotional connection behind your back. Either way, the trust is shattered. The commitment is broken.

The worst part? They put their selfish desires above everything you built together.

I know people cheat for all sorts of reasons. Some feel neglected or unfulfilled. Others crave attention and validation. And then there are those who do it simply because they can. No matter the excuse, I still can’t wrap my head around it.

Why not talk to your partner? Why not work through your issues together? If you’re unhappy, why not just leave? Why betray someone who trusts you?

Honestly—why even bother being in a relationship at all? 😤

It All Comes Down to Respect

Every relationship is different—some face communication struggles, others deal with emotional distance, and some navigate external pressures. However, no matter how challenging things get, one thing should always remain constant: respect.

Respect is the foundation of any healthy relationship. It’s what keeps love from turning into resentment, what keeps trust from crumbling, and what makes commitment more than just a word. When you truly respect your partner, you don’t lie to them, manipulate their trust, or betray their love for a fleeting moment of excitement. You honour the bond you share, even when times are tough.

Cheating isn’t just about breaking a promise—it’s about breaking the fundamental respect that holds a relationship together. It’s a selfish act that disregards your partner’s feelings, your own integrity, and the commitment you willingly made. And once respect is gone, what’s left?

A relationship without respect is a relationship already doomed to fail.

A Love Worth Honoring

At the end of the day, love isn’t just about passion or companionship—it’s about trust, loyalty, and the choice to honour the person you’ve committed to. Cheating has no place in that equation. It destroys the very foundation of what makes a relationship meaningful.

So let’s strive to be better. Let’s respect the people who love us, cherish the trust they place in us, and never take their loyalty for granted. If we can’t commit wholeheartedly, let’s have the courage to walk away instead of leaving scars that may never fully heal.