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There was a time when I kept my pain locked away in the pages of my journal. Every betrayal, every cruel word, every wound—I buried them deep, afraid of what might happen if I spoke up. I believed that being a “nice girl” meant staying silent and that sharing my truth would make me seem bitter or dramatic. I worried not just about how others would see me but also about how it might reflect on those who had hurt me.

As I’ve grown, I’ve come to understand that speaking the truth is nothing to fear. Instead, it has the power to raise awareness, gently hold people accountable, and turn pain into purpose. By sharing my experiences, I can shine a light on the things that truly matter. If my story can educate, inspire, or remind someone they’re not alone, then silence is no longer an option.

It’s my way of saying:

“I went through this so you don’t have to.”

The Fear of Speaking Out

Am I a good person? Yes, I believe I am. Do I still fear that telling the truth about my experiences might make me look bad? Not anymore.

That’s why I always remind people to be mindful of how they treat others—because once you hurt someone, you can’t undo it. You can apologize, you can grow, but the impact of your actions will always linger in that person’s life.

As a writer, I have the power to turn pain into purpose. For those who have wronged me, well… their actions often become material for my work. They live on in my stories, my poetry, and my lessons. But my words aren’t about blame or revenge—they’re about transformation. I write to create something meaningful from my experiences, to help others feel seen, and to remind them that their struggles are valid. More than anything, I want to empower others to speak their own truth, just as I’ve learned to speak mine.

And if telling my truth makes me a bad person, then so be it.

The Power of Vulnerability

Never let fear keep you from telling the truth about what happened to you. Don’t let manipulators or gaslighters convince you that your story should remain hidden. Every experience—no matter how painful—can serve a greater purpose: to raise awareness, to help others, and to remind yourself that your voice matters.

If you’ve been in a toxic relationship, speak about it. If you’ve been mistreated, abused, or taken advantage of, don’t keep it inside. Vulnerability isn’t weakness—it’s one of the bravest things you can offer the world. There is incredible strength in being open, raw, and honest.

Someone once told me that speaking about my exes would reflect poorly on me. But after carrying the emotional scars of a toxic relationship for years, I refuse to stay silent for the sake of appearances—especially for people who weren’t there to understand what I endured or how hard I had to fight to heal.

Absolutely not.

I’ve had exes like Chris, whom I still consider great men despite our past—because, in general, he treated me well. But I’ve also had relationships that left me broken. And while some people think speaking out means “talking shit,” they fail to see the difference between sharing the truth and being malicious. There’s a quote I love:

“There’s a difference between talking shit about a person and talking the truth about a shitty person.”

When someone hurts you deeply, the experience doesn’t just disappear because time has passed or because they’ve changed. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. And it certainly doesn’t mean pretending it never happened.

Listen, Learn, and Understand

We live in a world where people would rather dismiss someone’s pain than sit with the discomfort of hearing their story. Too often, when someone speaks up about their trauma, they’re met with scepticism or empty phrases like, “It wasn’t that bad” or “Just move on.” I remember opening up about my experiences, only to be met with blank stares or awkward subject changes. It’s easier for some to ignore another person’s suffering than to acknowledge the weight of their words and actions.

But here’s the thing—understanding someone’s past helps explain who they are and why they react the way they do.

Most of the time, it all comes back to trauma.

So listen. Learn. Don’t be so quick to judge or silence someone just because their truth makes you uncomfortable.

When I have good things to say about someone, I can’t help but gush. I love celebrating the people who have been good to me—like Justin and Nat, two friends I cherish deeply. When I write about them, my words are full of warmth and gratitude. But when I write about those who have hurt me, the tone shifts. And that’s okay.

My emotions. My words. They are a reflection of my reality.

Speak. Always Speak.

Sharing our stories isn’t just about unburdening ourselves—it’s about connection, awareness, and empowerment. When we speak up, we remind others that they’re not alone. We turn pain into purpose, using our experiences to bring light to things that matter.

Speaking the truth about someone’s actions doesn’t make you a bad person, especially when those actions were harmful. You might face criticism, just as I did, but focus on the lives you could impact—the people who need to hear that they’re not alone in their struggles.

If you’ve been through something difficult, don’t let fear or doubt silence you. Your voice matters. Your story matters. And you never know who might find strength in your words.

Just remember—take care of yourself. Seek support when you need it. Speaking your truth is powerful, but you don’t have to do it alone.

Never let anyone convince you that your pain isn’t real or that your story isn’t worth telling.

Because it is.

X, Hani. 💛