How I Deal With Sadness And Be Happy Instead

Sadness is something we all face. It’s one of the most basic human emotions and a natural response to situations that are upsetting, painful, or disappointing. Sometimes, sadness lingers, resurfacing unexpectedly even when the events that caused it are long past. It can be hard to deal with—not just because of the emotional weight but also because of the memories tied to it.

Growing up, people often saw me as a happy, cheerful, and talkative person. I was always cracking jokes and laughing, and for the most part, I still do. But underneath that bubbly exterior, there’s always been a part of me that felt profoundly sad. It’s as if my happy personality and my sad soul coexist within the same body.

Back then, I used people as a distraction. Being surrounded by friends helped me momentarily forget what I was going through. But when I was alone, the sadness would hit me like a wave. I cried myself to sleep more nights than I can count.

Now, I’ve learned to embrace solitude when sadness comes. Being alone allows me to reset and recharge. Everyone processes sadness differently, but for me, these strategies have helped turn those moments into opportunities for healing and growth:

1. I Don’t Distract Myself—I Accept the Sadness

Many people suggest distracting yourself when you’re sad, like going out with friends or keeping busy. But I’ve realized that ignoring or suppressing those feelings only makes them worse in the long run. Instead, I give myself permission to feel sad. I use this tea trick:

2. I Pamper Myself

When sadness hits, I treat myself like I’m recovering from a cold. I take a day or two off to focus entirely on myself. During this time, I do things that make me feel good:

Napping as much as I need.
Eating whatever I’m craving.
Watching movies or series I’ve been wanting to catch up on.
Shopping online for little things that bring me joy.
Getting a massage or going to the salon for a fresh haircut.

It’s my way of telling myself, “You matter. You deserve to be taken care of.”

3. Music Is My Therapy

I can’t go a day without music—it’s my safe space. Music has the power to change my mood, and I’ve curated playlists for every emotion. When I feel sad, I gravitate toward my “sad songs” playlist.

It might sound counterintuitive, but listening to emotional songs helps me process my feelings. Sometimes, I even let myself cry. Crying releases oxytocin, which can relieve pain and help you feel a sense of comfort.

4. I Choose Carefully Whom I Share My Sadness With

Not everyone can provide the kind of support you need when you’re feeling low. Some people listen to respond or judge, while others truly listen and offer genuine care.

Be selective about who you confide in. Pain is not a competition—everyone’s struggles are valid, no matter how big or small. Personally, I prefer expressing my feelings through writing rather than talking.

A little note: If someone opens up to you about their sadness, just listen. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is offer your presence, a warm hug, and the assurance that you’re there for them.

5. I Don’t Dwell on Sadness for Too Long

Most of my sadness is tied to past traumas and memories I can’t erase. For a long time, I let myself dwell on them, which became a cycle of negativity. Eventually, I realized it was draining not just me but also the people around me.

Now, I give myself a set amount of time to feel sad—usually 2-3 days, and at most, a week. During this time, I fully allow myself to process my emotions. After that, I consciously shift my focus to positivity. I listen to motivational speeches, surround myself with uplifting energy, and remind myself of all the good things in my life.

A Final Note

Feeling sad doesn’t mean you’re broken or weak. It’s a natural part of life. However, if sadness starts interfering with your daily life and functioning, it may be a sign of depression. In that case, don’t hesitate to seek help from a professional.

Take care of yourself, and remember—you’re not alone. You’re stronger than you think, and happiness is always within reach. 💛

Until then. X, Hani.