I Had 2,000 Tinder Matches and Here’s What I Learned

Posted on by Hani by

I last used Tinder about two years ago, and I had over 2,000 matches. Yes, you read that correctly: 2,000! It’s safe to say that I was pretty active on the app back then, especially after breaking up with my ex in 2019. I turned to Tinder as a form of catharsis—an outlet for my anger and frustration. At the time, I had no intention of forming a meaningful connection with anyone.

One thing I’ve learned about Tinder is that while it can be a fun and exciting way to meet new people, it isn’t always the best platform for serious dating. In fact, the majority of the people I met there weren’t really looking for a committed relationship.

The Tinder Cycle: Excitement, Frustration, and Realization

At first, it was fun. I got to talk to a lot of people, which helped curb my boredom. However, looking back, it’s not something I wish to dwell on, as I recognize that during that time in my life, my mental health wasn’t in the best state. I strayed away from my true self. I did things that were damaging to my soul, and it’s not something I will ever be proud of. However, one thing is for sure: I discovered a part of myself I never knew existed, and I was able to learn and grow in ways I never thought possible.

I believe most Tinder users understand how it works. Some people are straightforward about their intentions, telling you the truth without playing games—which, even if their motives aren’t great, is at least honest. On the other hand, there are those who make you feel good by crafting the ideal image of love you’ve always wanted, only to ghost you later. I don’t want to be overly critical here because, truthfully, my own intentions for using the app weren’t all that great either.

 

As time passed and I failed to establish any meaningful connections, I found myself feeling increasingly frustrated and lonely while using Tinder. I realized I was stuck in a cycle, repeating the same patterns.

  • Swipe right if someone matched my preferences.
  • If we matched, we’d talk for a while, getting to know each other.
  • Even if we got along well, we’d continue swiping and chatting with others, always keeping our options open in search of someone “better.”
  • Eventually, when someone seemingly more interesting came along, we’d stop talking to the previous person and shift our attention.

This cycle was emotionally draining, like watching a movie where the director kept changing the main actor. I did go on a few dates before the lockdown, and while some were bad, most were fun, and some guys were even very sweet and respectful toward me.

Gradually, I started spending less time on Tinder and focused more on my self-love and healing journey.

Unexpected Friendships: The Best Matches Came When I Wasn’t Looking

Ironically, the most meaningful connections I made on Tinder were with people I matched with when I was hardly using the app. Life works in funny ways. Though we never dated, I’m glad I swiped right on these individuals because, in the end, the most unexpected connections can lead to the most valuable friendships.

Nat: A True Online Best Friend

Out of the 2,000 matches I had at the time, Nat was the first person I truly connected with. From the moment we matched, our conversations felt effortless, and we quickly developed a meaningful bond. We share so much—our Monday night ritual of watching The Last of Us together, swapping music, and having deep conversations about anything and everything. I often send him my poetry for feedback, and he’s one of the few people whose opinions I genuinely value.

Justin: The Match That Changed Everything

The last person I swiped right on before deleting my account. He has been so special to me since the moment we matched. I’ve never connected with anyone the way I do with him. With Justin, my jokes and pickup lines flow effortlessly—something I’ve never experienced before. It’s a rare kind of bond—one I haven’t experienced with anyone else. 

The way we met still makes me smile. Scrolling through hundreds of profiles, I reached the very last one: Justin. “Well, he’s cute,” I thought. Looking back, it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

More Meaningful Connections

Besides Nat and Justin, I’ve also stayed in touch with other good friends from Tinder.

  • Raph and Feb always make sure to wish me a happy birthday and a happy new year.

  • Ludo, a sweet guy, spent hours chatting with me during the lockdown, even video calling me during his work breaks to check in and talk about our cats.

  • Feb once said something that stuck with me:

    “Dating apps right now are like looking for gold in a ton of shit.”

    He then added:

    “But at the same time, I’m grateful for the chance to meet valuable people, like you.”

  • Dani is another guy I met on Tinder—straightforward about his interest in me, but the connection isn’t as strong as it is with Nat and Justin, which is important to me. Nonetheless, I trust him and know he could make me happy.

Thanks to my friendships with these guys, I’ve learned to be kinder to men, too.

Final Thoughts: Is Tinder Worth It?

So yeah, Tinder isn’t all bad. If you’re lucky, you might meet some great people—but let’s be real, it’s not easy. Out of over 2,000 matches, I built meaningful connections with less than 10 people. Still, this app has given me so much. It opened my eyes to many things. I’ve learned to be cautious and not fall for sweet talk too easily. I’m more careful now when it comes to meeting people online.

It’s amazing how some couples who met on Tinder ended up getting married. One of my readers recently married a guy she met on Tinder years ago while he was on vacation in Malaysia. Despite being in a long-distance relationship for years, they made it work and eventually tied the knot. It just goes to show—you never know where you might find your soulmate. As for me, I didn’t find a serious relationship on Tinder, but I’m grateful for the amazing people I met through the app.

Looking back, I’m glad I met these people. Even though it’s challenging to find valuable connections on Tinder, I was fortunate. Sometimes, the best people come into our lives unexpectedly.

A Word of Caution to Women on Tinder

To any woman using online dating in hopes of finding Prince Charming, a word of caution: be careful and trust your instincts. While I’ve been fortunate to meet some truly amazing people online, I’ve also encountered the darker side of these platforms. I’ve faced sexual harassment from men I met online—something no one should ever have to go through.

No matter how charming or sincere someone seems, always prioritize your safety. Never ignore red flags, and don’t let sweet words cloud your judgment. Online dating can lead to incredible friendships and even love—but it also carries risks. Stay vigilant, trust your gut, and never compromise your safety. No connection is worth your well-being. 

X, Hani ❤

 

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