wanderhoney.com

“If I had a penny for every married man who showed interest in me, I’d be rich.”

Yup, you read that right. If I had no morals and didn’t care about stealing someone else’s husband, I’d probably be married by now. But here’s the thing—I do care. I care about loyalty, commitment, and the basic decency of not interfering in someone else’s marriage. So, when yet another married man comes sniffing around, I can’t help but wonder: Why do people get married if they can’t stay faithful?

I was venting about this to my friend Nat recently, and his response was blunt:

“People suck, Hani.”

Hard to argue with that. He also mentioned how open relationships are becoming more common where he lives in Australia. And while I try not to judge, I can’t help but feel that we’re normalizing things that shouldn’t be normalized.

Sure, people can live however they want, but personally? I believe in love—the kind that is built on commitment, respect, and sticking together through life’s ups and downs. I believe in a love that doesn’t crumble at the first sign of boredom or temptation. Maybe I’m old-fashioned, or maybe we’ve just lost touch with what meaningful relationships are supposed to be.

The Crumbling Idea of Love

The modern dating scene feels increasingly hollow. Everything revolves around swiping left or right, casual flings, and momentary satisfaction. Real connections seem rare. We’ve traded depth for convenience, and honestly, it’s exhausting.

And let’s be real—faithfulness isn’t just a man problem. I’ve seen married women cheat, too. I’ve witnessed enough infidelity to seriously question the entire institution of marriage.

So, again, why even bother getting married if you can’t stay committed?

The Unwanted Attention

For the past four years, I’ve intentionally stepped away from dating. Partly to avoid heartbreak, but also to minimize these kinds of situations. Yet, here I am—still dealing with unwanted attention from married men.

The latest incident? A married man went as far as stalking me and trying to get my home address. Let that sink in.

It’s beyond frustrating. I’m not impressed by wealth, status, or their ability to juggle multiple partners. That lifestyle doesn’t align with my values. No amount of luxury could make me overlook a man’s lack of integrity. I want loyalty, honesty, and real commitment—not a man who can’t even stay true to his own wife.

Loyalty: My Non-Negotiable

Here’s the thing: I don’t have to be in an official relationship with someone to be loyal to them. I can be loyal even without an official commitment. Once I develop feelings for someone, my attention becomes completely dedicated to that person. It doesn’t matter if there are others who show interest in me; the heart wants what it wants. I can remain unwaveringly loyal to one man for an extended period of time until I am certain that he has chosen someone else. Only then do I let go of any lingering hope and allow myself to consider developing feelings for another man. This has always been my approach—focusing my attention and emotions on a single person at a time. 

So when I see men betraying their partners so easily, it disgusts me. If they can’t respect the person they vowed to love, what makes me think they’d ever respect me? Greedy people are never satisfied, no matter what they possess.

I’d rather be alone forever than settle for someone who plays games with loyalty. Loyalty and faithfulness are principles that I hold dear, and those who cannot uphold them do not earn my respect or interest. 

Why Get Married If You Can’t Stay Committed?

After witnessing so many cases of infidelity, I can’t help but ask:

“Why do people even choose to get married if they can’t commit?”

If you can’t be faithful, stay single. It’s really that simple.

X, Hani. ❤