What’s Wrong With Married People These Days?

“If I had a penny for every married man who showed interest in me, I’d be rich.”

Yup, you read it right. I’d be married by now if I didn’t care about stealing someone else’s husband. I recently chatted with Nat about it, and I just can’t wrap my head around how someone with a wife can shamelessly flirt with someone else, or worse, pursue them.

He’s got a point, though. He said,

“People suck, Hani.”

He also mentioned that open relationships are now super common where he lives, which is in Australia. 

It’s a pretty sad world we’re living in, where we keep normalizing things we shouldn’t. I try not to judge too much. I mean, as long as they are happy, who am I to say, right? But personally, I strongly believe that relationships should be built on the foundation of commitment and genuine love between two people, no matter how challenging it may become. They should stick together through the good and the bad, as long as it doesn’t mess with their well-being, both mentally and physically. Isn’t that what love is all about? Or perhaps, I’m wrong?

Could it be that love is simply an illusion we all choose to believe in?

I consider myself a modern woman, and yet, this whole new dating scene seems increasingly crappy to me. Call me an old soul or old-fashioned, but the way things are going just doesn’t make sense anymore. It feels like we’ve lost touch with the genuine connections and meaningful relationships that used to be valued. With all the swiping left and right, casual hookups, shallow encounters the list goes on—it all feels incredibly superficial. It’s like we’ve given up on deep and meaningful connections in exchange for convenience and quick satisfaction. The value we used to place on heartfelt connections seems to have faded away.

Okay, I needed to get this off my chest today because I’ve been bothered by yet another married man, and it’s really stressing me out. Sadly, dealing with this kind of situation isn’t new to me. As I said, if I had a penny for every married man who showed interest in me, I’d be rich. That’s how messed up people are these days.

You see, I’ve made a conscious effort to keep myself away from men’s attention for quite some time now. I’ve intentionally avoided dating or going on any dates for the past 4 years. It’s been my way of minimizing the chances of encountering such uncomfortable situations like this one, especially because I can’t afford to get hurt again. However, it seems like even with my efforts, I still find myself facing these challenges.*sigh

The most recent married man who has shown interest in me has gone as far as stalking me and even attempting to obtain my home address. It genuinely frightened me. Here’s the thing: their wealth, financial status, and ability to have multiple partners hold no weight for me. That kind of lifestyle simply doesn’t align with my values and what I seek in a relationship. I have my principles, and I stick to them. I believe in the importance of loyalty and commitment. Material wealth and the ability to have multiple partners may be enticing to some, but as much as I want material wealth, for me, genuine connection and a meaningful, exclusive relationship are what truly matter. It’s about finding someone who shares the same values and respects the commitment we make to each other. Anything less than that, I won’t compromise.

The truth is, I don’t have to be in an official relationship with someone to be loyal to them. I can be loyal even without an official commitment. Once I develop feelings for someone, my attention becomes completely dedicated to that person. It doesn’t matter if there are others who show interest in me; the heart wants what it wants. I can remain unwaveringly loyal to one man for an extended period of time until I am certain that he has chosen someone else. Only then do I let go of any lingering hope and allow myself to consider developing feelings for another man. This has always been my approach—focusing my attention and emotions on a single person at a time. I refuse to entertain the idea of spreading my affections to different men simultaneously. If this is not what men value, then I have nothing more to say.

Because of this, it greatly irritates me when men display unfaithfulness towards their partners, as it goes against my core values. They don’t even deserve any attention from me, to be honest. I strongly believe that men who engage in such behavior are not worthy of my time or consideration. If they can disrespect their own partner by breaking trust, there’s a high chance they would do the same to me. Greedy people are never satisfied, no matter what they possess. I would rather be on my own my whole life than get involved with someone who is already committed to someone else.

Loyalty and faithfulness are principles that I hold dear, and those who cannot uphold them do not earn my respect or interest. I prefer to direct my attention and energy towards men who share my values and understand the importance of trust and fidelity in a relationship.

Even wives these days are involved with other men behind their husbands’ backs. I have witnessed numerous instances myself. It scared the shit out of me. It makes me question the institution of marriage altogether.

So, my question now is, 

“Why do people even choose to get married in the first place if they can’t commit? Like WTF?”

X, Hani. ❤


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