Wanderhoney.com

Urgh, I hate getting older, but I think it’s time to embrace it—embrace the changes. I like to think that I’m forever 27, clinging to that age like it’s frozen in time. Yeah, if only life worked that way. 😂

Now that I’m in my mid-30s, people in my culture are usually married with kids by this age, but here I am, writing……with a true-crime series playing in the background and my loyal cat by my side.

Is it strange that I haven’t even thought much about getting married?

I mean, I don’t think I’m ready to take a risk and end up in a relationship that could potentially ruin my peace of mind.

Just look at couples these days—it’s scary! I don’t know if you’re on Twitter (X), but there are always threads about failed marriages, cheating, or other relationship issues. It makes me nervous just thinking about it. God forbid I end up like that.

Anyway, I didn’t go on a birthday trip this year. Normally, I enjoy treating myself to a solo trip, and some of those trips were funded by my partner at the time because he knew how much the birthday trip meant to me. Honestly, it’s something I consider non-negotiable. But after just returning from Kundasang, I decided to stay put and save my money for future plans. Maybe next time I’ll celebrate in the Netherlands—meeting Justin would be a dream come true

What made this birthday special, though, was that I truly felt celebrated by my friends and colleagues. Usually, I spend my birthday alone, but this year was different. I got so many thoughtful gifts, and for two weeks, I ate cheesecake almost daily. I feel fat! 🤣 Honestly, I felt incredibly loved and blessed.

Coping With Aging.

As I’m getting older, I do feel a bit insecure sometimes. I often feel like I’m not as attractive anymore, especially when I look in the mirror and notice changes in my skin due to decreasing collagen. My beauty products are becoming more expensive, and I find myself investing more in beauty products to maintain my looks. It’s almost an obsession at this point, and recently I told myself that I don’t know how I would cope if I didn’t feel attractive anymore. It’s a nightmare I hope never becomes a reality. Whatever the case, I know self-care is the key and I hope I’ll always feel good about myself, even as I get older.

Life is Good.

Still, I’m not complaining. Life is good. It’s not perfect—I’m not rich yet—but it’s good. I feel loved by the people around me, and I’ve kept those I trust with my whole heart close to me. There’s really nothing to complain about. Work has been treating me well, despite the occasional challenges, which is normal. I just hope my life continues to improve from where I am now. Whoever enters my life, I hope they bring more happiness into my life. 

Thank you for making my birthday memorable this year. Sometimes, I forget how lucky I am to be surrounded by so much love. Even in my most dramatic moments, when I feel alone, I realize I’m not—I’m surrounded by people who care deeply about me. I pray that they always feel the same love they give me, and may they be protected and blessed.

X, Hani.