Officially One Year Older: Am I Bad, Mad Or Wiser?

Urgh, I hate getting older, but I think it’s time for me to embrace it—embrace the changes. I like to think that I’m forever 27, clinging to that age like it’s frozen in time. Yeah, if only life worked that way. 😂

In my mid-30s, when people in my culture are usually married with kids, here I am writing, with a true-crime series playing in the background and my loyal cat by my side. Is it unusual that I haven’t even thought about getting married? I mean, look at couples these days; it’s scary. I don’t know if you use X (formerly known as Twitter), but there are often feeds where people share about their marriages, complain about their partners, talk about cheating, or discuss other personal issues, which sucks. God forbid, I end up like that.

Birthday lunch outing

Birthday Reflections.

Anyway, I didn’t go on a birthday trip this year. Normally, I enjoy taking a solo trip each year to treat myself, but after just returning from Kundasang, I decided to stay put and save my money for another trip. Perhaps I should start planning to celebrate in the Netherlands. Knowing Justin is there, it would be the perfect birthday treat to finally meet the male version of myself. Meeting him would be a dream come true. If only I had enough money, I’d buy a ticket right now. *Sigh

Unlike my birthdays before, this year I felt like my birthday was celebrated by many people around me, and I truly felt loved! In the past, I tended to spend my birthday alone, but this year, since I didn’t go anywhere, my birthday was celebrated by good friends and colleagues. I received many birthday gifts too, which made me very happy. Who doesn’t love gifts, right? For two weeks, my birthday was celebrated by people around me, and during that time, I ate cheesecake almost every day. Haha. I feel fat! 🤣


Coping With Aging.

As I’m getting older, I do feel a bit insecure sometimes. I often feel like I’m not as attractive anymore, especially when I look in the mirror and notice changes in my skin due to decreasing collagen. My beauty products are becoming more expensive, and I find myself investing more in beauty products to maintain my looks. It’s a bit of an obsession, and recently I told myself that I don’t know how I would cope if I didn’t feel attractive anymore. It’s a nightmare I hope never becomes a reality. Whatever the case, I’m prioritizing self-care to ensure I will always feel good about myself.

Life is Good.

But yeah, life is good. It’s not perfect—I’m not rich yet—but it’s good. I feel loved by the people around me, and I’ve kept those I trust with my whole heart close to me. There’s really nothing to complain about. Work has been treating me well, despite the occasional challenges, which is normal. I just hope my life continues to improve from where I am now. Whoever enters my life, I hope they bring more happiness into my life. 

Thank you for making my birthday memorable this year. Sometimes I feel incredibly lucky and blessed to have people who love me, even when my dramatic side makes me feel like I’m alone. The truth is, I am surrounded by love from others, and I am special to them whether I realize it or not. May God protect them from harm and help them feel as loved by others as they make me feel. Amen.


X, Hani. 


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