Wanderhoney.com

Urgh, I hate getting older.
But hey, maybe it’s time I stop whining and start embracing it—all the changes, all the growth. In my head, I’m still 27, clinging to that age like it’s frozen in time. If only life worked that way, right? 

Now that I’m in my mid-30s, I can’t help but notice how different my path is compared to many around me. In my culture, most people at this age are married with kids. Me? I’m sitting here, typing this with a true-crime series playing in the background and my clingy cat curled up beside me.

Is it weird that I haven’t even seriously thought about getting married?

It’s not that I’m against it—it’s just that… peace is precious. And the thought of diving into something that could disrupt that peace? Terrifying.
Especially when you scroll through Twitter (X) and all you see are threads about cheating, divorces, and the absolute chaos some people go through. It makes me wonder: is it worth the risk?

Unfortunately, No Birthday Trip This Year

I didn’t go on a birthday trip this year. Normally, that’s my little tradition—a solo escape to somewhere new. A few of those past trips were even sponsored by my then-partner, who understood how much those getaways meant to me. It became something sacred. Non-negotiable.

But this year, after just returning from a Kundasang trip, I decided to chill and save up for future adventures. Who knows? Maybe next year I’ll be wandering the streets of the Netherlands—meeting Justin would be the cherry on top. 

This Year Felt… Different

Even without the trip, this birthday felt incredibly special. For the first time in a long time, I felt truly celebrated. I usually spend my birthdays alone, which I don’t mind—but this year? My friends and colleagues went all out. I got thoughtful gifts, sweet messages, and for two glorious weeks… I basically inhaled cheesecake. Daily.
Now I feel fat. 😆 But loved. So loved.

Coping With Aging (And Collagen Crisis)

Let’s be real—getting older is weird. I do feel a bit insecure sometimes. There are days I look in the mirror and feel… off. Less attractive. My skin’s changing, collagen’s decreasing, and my skincare routine is getting more expensive by the month. I’m investing more in my appearance, not because I want to be someone else, but because I want to hold onto the best version of me.

It’s almost an obsession at this point, and recently I told myself that I don’t know how I would cope if I no longer felt pretty one day. It’s a nightmare I hope never becomes a reality. Whatever the case, I know self-care is the key and I hope I’ll always feel good about myself, even as I get older.

Life is Good (Even Without a Ring or a Million Bucks)

Still, I’m not complaining. Life is far from perfect—I’m not rich yet—but it’s good. I’m surrounded by people who love me, people I can trust with my whole heart. There’s really nothing to complain about. Work has been treating me well too, despite the occasional challenges, which is normal. 

I just want to keep growing, keep smiling, and welcome only the kind of love that adds peace, not chaos. If someone walks into my life, may they be a blessing—not a lesson.

To everyone who made my birthday feel special: thank you.
Sometimes I forget how lucky I am. Even during my dramatic episodes (and I have plenty 😂), I’m reminded that I’m not alone. I’m wrapped in love. I see it. I feel it. And I pray those who gave it feel it right back—double, always.

X, Hani. 

Coffee helps me write. Support helps me shine. 🥰