Wanderhoney.com

I went on a date recently.

Yes. An actual, sit-down-with-a-human-being date.
And honestly? I think I enjoyed the getting ready part more than the date itself.

It’s been years since I’ve put myself in that situation. I’m perfectly happy at home—sipping tea, writing my thoughts, or bantering with my online best friend, Justin (the only man who’s ever survived my trust issues with men filter).

So why did I suddenly decide to go?
Well… I turned a year older last month, and in a very “New Year’s Resolution but for birthdays” moment, I thought:

“Alright, Hani. Let’s be adventurous. Meet someone new. See what happens.”

Spoiler alert: what happened was me deciding I’ll try again next year. Maybe. 😂

Speaking Of Date Outfit

If you know me, you know I take my outfits seriously. Not in a fashion diva way, but in a ‘my outfit, my rules’ way.

So when a man hints—or worse, directly asks for me to wear something “sexy”, it’s an instant red flag. Because it’s not just about clothes; it’s about respect.

Right now, my style leans toward what I call Kate Middleton vibes—elegant, modest, still confident. I choose pieces that make me feel polished and comfortable, not outfits designed to perform for someone else’s approval.

That’s why it bothers me when a man asks me to wear something “sexy”. It tells me he’s focusing on the wrong thing. My outfits are about feeling like the best version of myself—confident, self-assured, and authentic… not about proving I can grab attention. If he can’t respect that, then we’re not speaking the same language.

My ex learnt this the hard way. He once said,

“I won’t comment on your outfits because you’ll probably just wear the opposite.”

And yes, I did exactly that.

Petty? Maybe.

Satisfying? Absolutely.

So, if someone tries to dictate my style, it’s not just about the dress—it’s about them not understanding my values. And that’s a dealbreaker.

I Still Showed Up

But yeah, even after the outfit request, I didn’t cancel the date. I went anyway because I’m always true to my word. When I say I’ll meet you, I will meet you. I don’t do last-minute ghosting. If we have a plan, I’ll be there.

Being reliable and respecting others’ time is important to me. It’s a quality I value, and it helps build trust and strong connections with people. So, no matter what comes up, I make sure to stick to my commitments and be there as promised—unless there’s an actual zombie apocalypse (and even then, I’d text).

So… Was He Awful?

After finding out I’ve been single for four years, he asked me:

“Don’t you feel lonely or miss the affection?” 

And my answer was simple…

Sometimes I do, but most of the time, I don’t. After my last relationship, my focus now is on prioritizing my peace and well-being. Being with men is no longer a top priority unless I find someone who can also contribute positively to my happiness and inner peace. Quality matters more than just being in a relationship, and I won’t settle for anything less than a genuine connection and mutual growth.

Anyway,

He was nice. The conversation was fine. The food was good. There was nothing inherently wrong with the date; the problem wasn’t him; it was me realizing that I just don’t enjoy dating for the sake of dating. Right now, my time feels more valuable spent doing things I love—writing, creating, and connecting with people who inspire me. A date with no emotional spark feels… unproductive.

And I’m not against men entirely. I just want one who brings real value to my life—respect, emotional safety, and intellectual connection. Until I find someone who truly connects with me on that level, I don’t think I’ll be able to be with anyone.

But sure, when the right time comes, I will give it a try.

For now, I’m hanging up my dating shoes. 

X, Hani.

Coffee helps me write. Support helps me shine. 🥰