Have you ever promised someone something casually, only for your brain to remember it months later as if you had signed a legally binding contract?
Because that’s me.
Months ago, I told my partner I wanted to treat him to lunch at 10 Pots, my favourite hotpot restaurant at Tamarind Square. He had never been there before, so I spent quite some time telling him how good the restaurant was. Of course, I wanted that satisfying moment of saying, “See? I told you it’s good!”
The promise wasn’t a big deal, but my brain refused to let it go. Before Ramadhan, I finally decided it was time to stop postponing our lunch date.
It got me thinking about how women can show love by taking the initiative, too. We’re so used to seeing men plan dates, pay for meals and surprise their partners with gifts, yet women can do those things for their partners as well. Even something as simple as treating someone to lunch can be a thoughtful way to show love.
So, we finally made our way to 10 Pots. What started as a promise to buy my partner a meal turned into a lovely afternoon together and reminded me that showing love doesn’t always have to mean waiting to receive it.
Why Should Women Treat Their Partners, Too?
Let’s talk about something I think deserves more attention: women treating their partners.
We’re so used to seeing men take the lead in romantic gestures. He buys her flowers, pays for dinner, plans a surprise date or remembers her favourite drink. When a man makes that kind of effort, we celebrate it, as we should.
What about when a woman does the same for her partner?
It’s perfectly fine to enjoy being treated, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do the same for him, too. You can suggest a date, pay for lunch or surprise him with something thoughtful. You could even be the one to say, “Let’s go somewhere nice today. Lunch is on me!”
Being generous to your partner doesn’t mean you have to take on the role of always giving. It’s about showing love and appreciation, not being responsible for every date or romantic gesture. I enjoy being treated, too, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting your partner to plan dates, buy you flowers or take you somewhere special.
You don’t lose your femininity by paying for dinner or become less cherished by planning a date. You can enjoy receiving flowers while occasionally being the one who buys them. The point isn’t to stop receiving love. It’s to remember that we can give it, too.
Treating your partner doesn’t have to be expensive. If your budget allows, take him to his favourite restaurant or plan a little day trip. If you’re saving money, buy his favourite coffee, bring him a snack he loves or take him for a walk somewhere new.
You could even introduce him to a place you love, just as I did with 10 Pots. Remember a restaurant he mentioned wanting to try, pick up his favourite drink on your way to see him or follow through on a promise to take him somewhere. These little gestures show that you’re paying attention.
Of course, this isn’t about women doing more while their partners sit back and receive everything. A relationship shouldn’t become one-sided, with one person constantly giving while the other makes little effort in return. Both people deserve to feel loved, appreciated and cared for.
You can enjoy being treated like a princess while occasionally treating your partner like a king. Both can be true.
Our Lunch Date at Tamarind Square
This was my fourth visit to 10 Pots, although it was my first time coming on a Sunday. I usually visit on Saturdays before noon with my best friend, so arriving around 2 pm meant we had to queue for about 30 minutes. Thankfully, the restaurant provided drinking water and benches for customers waiting outside.
Once we got our seats, the food was just as I remembered. The ingredients were fresh, the meat was good, and the soup bases remained one of my favourite things about eating here.
The service, however, wasn’t quite as smooth as on my previous visits. The restaurant was packed, some sauce containers were empty, we had to ask for bowls, and the extra beef my partner requested never arrived. It was also rather hot inside, with all the steam and people around us.
Despite those little inconveniences, we enjoyed our meal. More importantly, I finally got to introduce my partner to one of my favourite hotpot places. I could stop reminding myself about that unfinished promise, at least until my brain found something else to obsess over.
Mission accomplished.
Lunch was only the beginning of our little outing. We spent the afternoon exploring Tamarind Square, stopping for coffee, browsing a bookstore and taking photos along the way.
Lately, I’ve been spending more time in bookstores. It’s become one of my favourite ways to spend a quiet afternoon, so visiting BookXcess at Tamarind Square was practically inevitable. I’d passed this branch before, yet I’d never properly explored it. I wanted to take my time browsing the shelves, reading the blurbs and enjoying the atmosphere. I can easily spend hours in a bookstore without getting bored.
I didn’t even need to buy a stack of books to feel satisfied. Just being there was enough.
My partner came along with me, letting me enjoy one of those little things that make me happy. We don’t have to enjoy exactly the same activities to have a good time together. Sometimes, it’s enough to let your partner enjoy their interests while you happily tag along. Making an effort to experience something your partner enjoys can be part of the fun, too.
After browsing BookXcess, we stopped at Toast Maker for a coffee break. Tamarind Square has plenty of cafés, but two words on the menu caught my attention: Sea Salt Caramel Latte.
Ever since trying my first one at Alcea Cafe, I’ve been obsessed. Apparently, my current coffee personality can be summarised as anything with sea salt.
My partner insisted on treating me to coffee, so we settled down with our drinks and chatted about all sorts of random things. I enjoy these little breaks during our dates, when we can slow down, talk about random stuff and simply enjoy each other’s company.
Toast Maker’s version was smooth, nicely balanced and comforting. I enjoyed it, although Alcea remains my favourite.
Our original plan wasn’t to spend the afternoon taking photos. I wanted to buy some cough medication, spotted a nearby pharmacy on Google Maps and set off to find it.
We walked around looking for it, but somehow never found the place. Instead, we came across some lovely corners of Tamarind Square that I’d never properly explored before. The architecture, greenery and natural light made excellent photo spots, so our pharmacy mission quickly turned into an impromptu photography session.
My partner automatically took on his usual role as my personal photographer. I think he has accepted that this is part of the job description. Other than being my partner, this might be his most consistent responsibility.
We ended up taking plenty of photos before making one final stop at Mixue. The weather was ridiculously hot, and a cold drink sounded perfect. We’d tried Mixue before, thanks to a treat from my gynae doctor, but this time we decided to get our own drinks.
After a little debate over what to order, we settled on Peach Tea. Thankfully, it was the right choice. It was refreshing, sweet and exactly what we needed before heading home.
Little Dates Can Make a Difference
I’ll admit that I was slightly annoyed with my partner before lunch. Nothing dramatic had happened. We simply had one of those moments when our differences felt a little more noticeable than usual.
As we went about our plans, I gradually let the frustration settle. By the end of the afternoon, I felt closer to him.
Our problems hadn’t magically disappeared, nor had we suddenly become two people who agreed on everything. We had simply spent time together, shared a meal, explored new corners of a familiar place and created a few memories along the way.
It reminded me that relationships need more than affection and good intentions. They need effort, too. Taking time to reconnect doesn’t mean ignoring serious problems or pretending everything is fine. It means making room to enjoy each other while still being willing to communicate and work through our differences.
A little time together won’t magically fix everything, but it can help us feel close again. A relationship isn’t just about working through problems. It’s about making time to enjoy each other, too.
Ladies, Make the First Move Sometimes
Imagine how nice it would be for your partner to hear, “Get ready. I’m taking you out today!”
You could plan a date around his favourite food, take him somewhere he’s never visited, buy him a little gift, or pick up his favourite drink on your way to see him. You don’t need to wait for his birthday, your anniversary, or Valentine’s Day to do something thoughtful.
Give because you want to, not because you’re afraid he’ll stop loving you if you don’t.
Treating your partner should feel enjoyable, not like another responsibility you have to fulfil to keep the relationship going. You shouldn’t have to buy affection, compete with other women, or constantly prove that you’re a good partner. You deserve to receive love and effort, too.
A healthy relationship allows both people to take turns planning dates, paying for meals, giving surprises, and making each other feel special. The balance doesn’t have to be perfectly equal every day, but neither person should feel like they’re the only one trying.
If you’re always planning dates, paying for everything, and making sacrifices while your partner rarely reciprocates, that’s a different conversation. Giving more occasionally is one thing. Being expected to carry the relationship is another.
My point isn’t that women should take on everything men are traditionally expected to do. It’s that we can enjoy giving romantic gestures, too, instead of always waiting to receive them.
Love Deserves Effort on Ordinary Days, Too
My lunch date at Tamarind Square began with a promise to buy my partner a meal. It ended with coffee, bookstore browsing, unexpected photo spots and a refreshing drink before heading home.
Nothing extravagant. Nothing particularly extraordinary. Just an ordinary day spent together, made a little more special because I finally kept my promise and we made time for each other.
Looking back, the most meaningful part wasn’t simply that I treated him to lunch. It was the intention behind it. I wanted to share something I enjoyed with someone I love, and I made the effort to turn that thought into an actual plan.
You don’t have to wait for someone to do something nice for you before you return the gesture, nor do you need to keep score of every meal, gift or date. You can take the initiative simply because you love someone and want to make them happy.
At the same time, your kindness deserves to be appreciated. You shouldn’t have to buy affection, compete with other women or constantly prove that you’re a good partner. Giving more occasionally is one thing. Being the only person making an effort is another. Love should leave room for both people to give and receive.
So, ladies, when was the last time you treated your partner to something simply because you wanted to?
It doesn’t have to be expensive or planned weeks in advance. Treat him to a meal, buy him his favourite coffee or take him somewhere you’ve been wanting to visit. You don’t need a special occasion to make someone feel special.
Give yourself the chance to experience the joy of doing something thoughtful for someone you love. You can enjoy being loved and cared for while taking pleasure in making your partner happy, too.
You deserve to be loved, ladies. Never be afraid to give love just as beautifully as you hope to receive it.
Love,
Auri Duham🌻
