Having nightmares as an adult is not unusual. Having them so often that you start wondering why your brain seems to have something against letting you sleep peacefully is a different story.
Nightmares have been part of my sleep for as long as I can remember. I often wake up with such a vivid memory of my dreams that it takes me a moment to figure out whether I was dreaming, remembering something, or actually experiencing it.
Some nights, the dreams are so realistic that I wake up feeling like I have just lived through an entire story. Other times, I wake up from something completely terrifying and wonder how my brain managed to come up with it in the first place.
Nightmares can happen for many reasons, including stress, anxiety, trauma, certain medications, sleep deprivation and sleep disorders. Sometimes, though, there is no obvious reason. A perfectly good day can still end with a terrible dream.
After dealing with nightmares for years, I have picked up a few things that seem to help make them less intense or easier to deal with. They may not work for everyone, but they are worth trying if nightmares have become a regular part of your sleep.
1. Horror Can Help, But Timing Matters
I started becoming more comfortable with my nightmares by exposing myself to scary stories and learning not to be so frightened by them. The more familiar I became with horror, the less frightening some of my nightmares felt too.
The timing makes a difference, though. A scary movie in the afternoon feels very different from watching a disturbing story right before closing your eyes. I usually avoid watching anything too intense close to bedtime.
Watching a comedy, listening to music or reading something light can give your brain something different to focus on before you sleep.
You do not have to give up horror if you enjoy it. Sometimes, it is simply about knowing when to watch it.
2. Don’t eat right before bed
Eating right before sleep does not necessarily cause nightmares, but it can make you feel uncomfortable, trigger indigestion or acid reflux, and interfere with your sleep. A restless night can make dreams feel more vivid and leave you remembering them more clearly the next morning.
Try giving yourself some time between dinner and bedtime, especially after a heavy meal. A small snack is perfectly fine if you are genuinely hungry. Going to bed starving just to follow a rule is not going to make your sleep any better.
You do not need to follow a strict dinner time. Just avoid making a huge meal the last thing your body has to deal with before bed. Giving yourself time to digest can make it easier to settle down and get comfortable when it is time to sleep.
3. Try activities that encourage dream awareness
Thanks to my ex, who introduced me to Steam, I started playing video games more regularly. I never expected gaming to affect my dreams, but after a while, I started noticing something interesting.
I became more aware of what was happening inside my dreams. When something strange happened, I sometimes realised that I was dreaming and could change what happened next. Instead of running away from whatever was chasing me, I could make the situation go in a completely different direction.
This is similar to lucid dreaming, where you realise that you are dreaming while still asleep. Gaming is not a treatment for nightmares, and it does not mean you will automatically gain control over your dreams. It simply helped me become more aware of what was happening while I was dreaming.
That little realisation has made some of my nightmares less frightening. Sometimes, changing the ending is all it takes.
4. Talk about your nightmares
A bad dream can stay in your head long after you wake up, especially when it feels incredibly real.
Talking about it with someone you trust can help you process what happened instead of replaying the whole thing in your head. Sometimes, simply telling someone what happened makes the dream feel less frightening.
Writing it down can help too. I often remember my dreams in ridiculous detail, so putting everything on paper helps me clear my head and move on with the rest of my day.
You do not have to figure out what every dream means. Not every nightmare has a hidden message or deeper explanation.
Sometimes, you just need to remind yourself, “That was horrible, but it was only a dream.”
Once you have said it out loud or written it down, you can get on with your day.
5. Recite prayers if you’re a Muslim
My late grandfather taught me to read Surah Al-Fatihah and the 3 Quls before going to sleep. It became one of those little habits from childhood that stayed with me into adulthood.
He also recommended reciting “Bismillah” 33 times before bed. I have to admit, I sometimes skip that part, but Al-Fatihah and the 3 Quls are the ones I rarely forget.
Another recitation I was taught is:
“Bismillahilladzi la yadurru ma’asmihi syai’un fil-ardhi wa la fis-sama’i, wa huwas-sami’ul-‘alim.”
When a nightmare wakes me up in the middle of the night, reciting these helps me settle down before going back to sleep. Instead of replaying the dream in my head, I have something to focus on while calming myself down.
If you are Muslim, you can include your own prayers or bedtime practices in your routine. Having a prayer or recitation to turn to after a bad dream can help you settle your mind and get back to sleep.
6. Give your mind time to relax
Going to bed with a head full of thoughts can make it harder to fall asleep peacefully. Sometimes, the body is tired, but the brain is still busy going through everything that happened during the day.
Give yourself a little time to wind down before getting into bed. Listen to relaxing music, read something light, stretch gently or look at cute animal pictures if that makes you happy.
I sometimes make up completely random scenarios in my head before falling asleep. I might imagine travelling somewhere I have never been, staying in a beautiful hotel or living a completely different life for a while. It sounds silly, but it helps take my mind off everything else.
You do not have to force yourself to think positive thoughts or completely empty your mind. Finding something pleasant and uncomplicated to think about can be enough to ease you into sleep.
Final Thoughts
Nightmares can be exhausting, especially when they happen so often that you start dreading bedtime itself.
A few changes to your evening routine may help make them less intense or easier to deal with. If frequent nightmares keep disturbing your sleep or affecting your daily life, it is worth speaking to a doctor or sleep professional to find out what might be behind them.
After living with nightmares for so long, I have realised that not every bad dream needs an explanation. Sometimes, the brain simply creates the strangest stories while we sleep.
What matters is remembering that a nightmare is not a prediction, and it cannot hurt you once you are awake. You can open your eyes, take a breath, remind yourself that you are safe, and let the dream end there.
You do not have to carry a bad dream with you into the rest of your day. It happened in your sleep, and that is where it can stay.
I hope these tips help make bedtime a little easier and your mornings a little lighter.
Sleep well. Dream gently.
Love,
Auri Duham 🌻
