Dealing With People’s Behavior Gives Me Mental Exhaustion.

We all know what it’s like to interact with a diverse range of people each day. Sometimes those interactions can be fulfilling and uplifting, but let’s face it – they can also be mentally exhausting, especially when we encounter challenging behaviors.

Lately, my days at work have been particularly tough, and it feels like I’ve been caught in a never-ending cycle of frustration for the past two weeks. I’ve reached a point where I can’t help but vent my anger and frustrations with my colleagues. They understood why I felt that way because we fought and spoke up about the same thing. Unfortunately, we fought over something that we cannot change because, as we know, it’s hard to change people’s behavior, especially when it is related to those in higher positions. While supporting each other has been a lifeline between me and my colleagues, I still find myself burdened by countless thoughts that refuse to leave my mind.

Earlier today at the cafe for breakfast, my colleagues picked up on the sheer stress I was carrying just by looking at my unhappy expression. One of them mentioned,

You know, we were actually talking about your health report earlier, and now this is happening to you.”

She was actually referring to the creepy guy at work who has been giving me unwanted attention. My face completely changed when I realized he was also at the cafe, and my colleague mentioned that he had been staring at me. I thought giving him my phone number would make it easier for work-related matters, but unfortunately, he had other intentions. Since he got my phone number, he started texting me, calling me, buying me coffee, and even stalking me. It has been incredibly distressing.

I’m in my 30s; all I really want is to be left alone—and people to respect my boundaries. I don’t need attention from men, especially when it’s unwanted. Gosh, I don’t know what’s a stronger word than ‘hate’ to describe it. 

I’ve been avoiding getting involved with men for a very long time now, and when a man starts acting like this, it only adds to my frustration with the whole gender.

Okay, listen, the only men who have a place in my life are Justin and Nat. The connection I have with them is purely friendship. They have never caused me any stress; our friendship is genuine—I trust them both wholeheartedly, and every interaction with them brings me immense joy and happiness. I have a limited circle of male friends and I do not entertain or engage with other men beyond these two men. So, if you are not Justin or Nat, please respect my boundaries and leave me alone. I have no interest in forming new friendships or developing romantic feelings. The more someone tries to get close to me, the further I will distance myself.

For now, I know it’s no longer in my control, so I’m taking small steps to put myself back on track. You know, when you have too many things on your mind, sometimes you need someone to remind you of things and help you remember who you are. Thankfully, sharing what I’ve been carrying with a friend has lightened some of the burdens on my mind.

Just like Justin said, situations that I’m currently dealing with will eventually fade away. I really hope that it will happen sooner than I expected because I’m truly exhausted. Even after sleeping for more than 12 hours, I still wake up feeling tired. The toxic work environment, mixed with the challenging behaviors of certain individuals and the unwanted attention from that creepy guy, has caused me mental exhaustion. With already existing burdens weighing on my mind, all of these circumstances make me long to stay asleep, seeking respite from it all.

Anyway, shifting gears to a brighter note, my sister-in-law just had a baby a few days ago. Another nephew for me! Yay! I can’t contain my excitement to see him. It’s been the only good news I’ve received this month so far. Well, I don’t ask for much, just hoping for a better week ahead. For now, I know I need ample rest and to dedicate more time to writing, particularly my poetry, which I have neglected for the past month. 

Until then.

X, Hani. 


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