In the past, I used to keep the bad experiences I had and what people did to me to myself, kept them hidden in my journal. I felt like I had to maintain a “nice girl” persona, and I was worried about how others might perceive me and those who had wronged me if I spoke out. However, as I’ve grown older, I’ve become more courageous and confident in speaking the truth out loud and holding people accountable for their actions and that sharing my experiences can help raise awareness and educate others—I take it as my responsibility to share my story with the world, to let others know they’re not alone, and to prevent similar situations from happening to others. It’s like saying,
“I went through this, so you don’t have to.”
Am I a good girl? Yes, I believe I am. Do I worry that speaking the truth about people out loud would reflect me as a bad person? Nah, not anymore. That’s why I often remind people to be mindful of how they treat others. Once you do something wrong, you can never undo it. You can never turn back time. It will remain forever in that person’s life.
Since I am a writer, it’s so unfortunate for those who wronged me because their actions have become a prime source of material for my writing, even to this day. My experiences will always be a part of my life, and by writing about them, I hope to inspire others to speak up, seek help, and know that they’re not alone. It’s not about dwelling on the past or seeking revenge; it’s about turning pain into something positive and helping others navigate through their own struggles. I believe that the more we talk openly about our issues, the more we can break the stigma and create a supportive community for survivors. And as a writer, I feel a sense of duty to use my words to empower and uplift others who may be going through similar experiences.
“If speaking the truth about something makes me a bad person, then so be it.”
My point is, never be scared to tell people the truth about what happened to you. Don’t let those who try to manipulate or gaslight you into keeping things to yourself win. Every experience we have in life can be used to raise awareness and help others avoid similar situations. If you have been abused or in a toxic relationship, share it. If anything bad has happened to you, share it. Be vulnerable. Be willing to tell others about your story. Vulnerability is not a weakness. Being vulnerable is a true sign of courage. In fact, allowing yourself to be “weak” is really a moment of strength.
Someone once told me that speaking negatively about one of my exes (or those who wronged me) and sharing what happened would reflect poorly on me. Well, after struggling for years with my mental health due to the impact the relationship had on me, I refuse to stay silent just to maintain a facade of “looking good” for others who weren’t even there to understand what I’ve been through and how hard I had to work to recover. No fu*king way. I’ve never spoken negatively about Chris or Ash, even though they’re both my exes. That’s because, in general, they were amazing to me. Sure, bad things happened, but to this day, I still see them as great men. Do you get what I mean? There’s a difference between talking shit about a person and talking the truth about a shitty person.
I simply shared the truth, and if anyone wants to judge me for that, then they clearly don’t understand the pain and trauma that come with being in a toxic relationship. Just because my ex has apologized and possibly changed, it doesn’t change the fact that the experiences still exist.
I believe that people should learn to be good listeners instead of shutting someone out, manipulating them, or gaslighting them just because they want to speak the truth about someone and what happened to them. Learning about someone’s past is crucial to understanding why they are the way they are. Most of the time, it is because of the trauma. So, yeah, listen and learn.
“When it’s good, it’s good; when it’s bad, it’s bad.”
When I have good things to say about someone, I can’t help but gush about them. You can see it every time I talk about Justin or Nat. I have nothing but praise for them. They are wonderful friends, and I honestly love them both. I have nothing bad to say about them, and it’s not worth jeopardizing our friendship by using them as material. Oh, wait, I do use them for inspiration in my poetry, but it’s always heartwarming and positive. It’s full of love, gratitude, and appreciation for the amazing friends they are. It’s different from the poetry inspired by what my ex did to me, which is full of anger, disappointment, hurt, pain, and sadness. I haven’t released those poems yet, but Nat has already read some of them.
“Don’t be afraid to speak the truth.”
So, yeah, I really think it’s important for more people to speak up and tell their stories. When we share our experiences, we not only release some of the burdens we carry, but we also let others know they’re not alone. It’s empowering to use our pain and struggles as a way to raise awareness and help others going through similar situations. Speaking the truth about someone’s actions doesn’t necessarily make us a bad person, especially if those actions were harmful or hurtful. You might receive criticism for it, as I did, but focus more on how many people you can help.
If you’ve been through something difficult, don’t be afraid to speak the truth and tell the world what happened. Your voice matters, and you never know who you might be helping by sharing your story. Just remember to take care of yourself and seek support if you need it. It can be a tough and emotional journey, but you don’t have to go through it alone.
X, Hani. 💛