Things I Did When I Felt Lost & Purposeless

I recently struggled with the feeling of being lost and purposeless for around three months before I finally overcame it. Throughout that period, I kept everyone at a distance, didn’t want to talk to anyone, and slept most of the time. I overslept and felt uninspired. What caused me to feel that way? Well, it started when I was feeling overwhelmed with work. Additionally, I was also working on a project of my own, but it didn’t turn out as I had hoped; I wasn’t happy with the outcome. I also missed the people I really wanted to talk to, friends that I considered to be my mood lifters.

I’m now already back to being an energetic, driven person as I write this post. It took me some time, but the fact that I was able to manage it was what counted. Here are some things I did when I felt lost and purposeless that might help you too:

I gave myself all the time I required.

I didn’t make myself do things I didn’t want to, like forcing myself to talk to people when I didn’t want to. I stayed inside because I didn’t want to go out. I basically cut myself off. I was already stressed out after being at work for nine hours. Being outside and around others would have made me feel even more stressed out. For months, because I didn’t want anyone to bother me, I ignored hundreds of text messages. I stopped using my phone from 5 p.m. until 7 a.m. the following morning on weekdays, and I didn’t use my phone at all on the weekends. I didn’t beat myself up for not responding to people. I took whatever time I required. I didn’t rush.

I constantly listened to music.

My mental health depends heavily on music. That’s why Spotify is very important to me, and I’m willing to pay a premium. I made sure to listen to my favorite songs regularly. I created playlists for different moods and listened to them depending on how I was feeling. Music has a way of calming the mind and bringing a sense of comfort, which helped me to relax and feel better. Here’s the playlist: Feeling Lost

I listened to a self-improvement podcast.

When I’m dealing with issues, I like to turn to the internet to get as much help as I can for personal development. One day, when I was looking for a podcast about feeling lost, it led me to a life coach podcast, by Rafael Eliassen. His podcast greatly improves my self-esteem. He literally inspired me. He made me realize where I went wrong. I reached out to him to let him know how thankful I am for his podcast, and to my surprise, he responded to me. Here are the podcast episodes: Feeling Lost In Your Life?

I reached out to the person I really wanted to talk to.

I have a lot of friends, but few who truly understand me. I’m lucky to have four good people in my life who I can turn to for support: a colleague and close friend who I trust the most, and two online friends who have been a lifeline during the lockdown in 2021. Recently, I reached out to one of my online friends, whom I consider to be one of the best people I’ve ever met. He has a way of listening to me talk about anything without judgment, and always knows how to lift my mood. I’m grateful to have him as a friend and always make an effort to keep our friendship going.

I wrote down my thoughts and feelings.

Writing down my thoughts and feelings helped me to process them and understand them better. I wrote in a journal every day, and this helped me to get clarity on what I was going through. It also helped me to identify patterns in my behavior and emotions. When we can understand ourselves better, it can help us to find solutions to our problems.

I stopped being so critical of myself.

Sometimes, when things don’t go as planned, I start being critical of myself. I don’t easily give up on people, but I do it a lot with myself, perhaps because I put too much pressure on myself to accomplish things perfectly. When things go wrong in life, I like to blame myself as well. It stinks, and, frankly, it hurts my ego. Now I realize that no matter how perfect I am, if I continue to drive myself with self-criticism, I will not enjoy the process; the journey. As much as I would love to be perfect, I’m only human, and I make mistakes. I want to be good at everything I do, but beating myself up isn’t doing me any good either. Ultimately, life moves in its own manner.

I moved closer to my likes. 

I only did things that I enjoyed without feeling bad about it; things that made me happy. I spent time watching movies and TV shows without thinking, “OK, I’m wasting my time”. I realized that it’s important to give myself permission to relax and enjoy myself. Krispy Kreme made me happy, so I bought Krispy Kreme despite the fact that I hadn’t eaten doughnuts in months due to controlling my sugar intake. There’s something about the soft, sweet dough and the delicious glaze that just makes me happy. I also limited my responses to people. Instead of feeling obligated to respond to everyone who reaches out to me, I only engage with the people who genuinely make me happy. Whether it’s a friend who always makes me laugh or a family member who I have a strong connection with, I prioritize relationships that bring me joy. 

Feelings are not thoughts. Altering your way of thinking, you cannot simply overcome it. Recovering from feelings takes time. Be patient and kind to yourself while you work on overcoming it. 


X. Hani.


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