Adapting Yourself To Different People & Situations Is Not Being Fake.

The other day, I was having coffee with a friend when she said something that really stuck with me:

“I don’t treat people the same way. I treat them based on their personalities.”

And honestly? That hit home.

Because same.

Like her, I naturally adjust how I interact depending on who I’m with and the situation I’m in. Some people call it inconsistency, others might even throw around the word hypocrisy—but let’s be real, it’s neither. It’s adaptability. And in a world where social dynamics are as complex as a 10-step skincare routine, adaptability is a game-changer.

It’s about knowing when to be lighthearted and playful, when to be serious and composed, and when to simply listen. It’s understanding that what works with one person might completely flop with another.

At its core, adaptability isn’t about being fake—it’s about emotional intelligence. It’s about reading the room, respecting boundaries, and making deeper, more meaningful connections with the people around us.

Why Do We Act Differently Around Different People?

Let’s be honest—do you talk to your boss the same way you joke with your best friend? Do you act the same way at a formal dinner as you do at a backyard BBQ? Of course not!

We all naturally tweak our behavior depending on where we are and who we’re with. That’s not being fake—it’s being socially smart.

Over the years, people have seen different sides of me, and that’s because I don’t interact with everyone the same way. Every relationship is unique, and my personality shifts depending on the depth of our connection and the environment we’re in.

For example, my old school and national service friends remember me as the loud, hyperactive one who always had a joke ready. That playful side comes out effortlessly when I’m with them. But people who met me later in life might describe me as more reserved and introspective—not because I’ve changed, but because I don’t feel the need to be outgoing in every situation. Then at work, my personality shifts again—I’m more direct, assertive, and serious, which some might (wrongly) interpret as intimidating.

And that’s the beauty of adaptability.

Adaptability is a Strength, Not a Flaw

Some people believe that if you don’t treat everyone exactly the same way, you’re being inauthentic. But in reality, adaptability is one of the most valuable life skills you can have. It’s what helps us build connections, avoid unnecessary drama, and communicate effectively.

Let’s be real—people are different. Some are sensitive, some are blunt. Some love sarcasm, while others take it personally. If you go through life treating everyone the same way, you’re bound to step on some toes.

Social intelligence—the ability to read a situation and respond appropriately—is what makes relationships thrive. Studies even show that adaptable people tend to be more successful in both personal and professional settings. It’s not about being a people-pleasing chameleon with no personality; it’s about knowing when to dial it up, when to tone it down, and when to just listen.

The Difference Between Adaptability and People-Pleasing

Now, let’s clear something up before anyone gets it twisted.

“But Hani, if you’re always changing how you act, doesn’t that mean you’re just trying to please everyone?”

Nope. Huge difference.

🚫 People-pleasing = Changing who you are just to gain approval. It’s rooted in insecurity or fear of rejection.
✅ Adaptability = Adjusting your approach while staying true to yourself. It’s about mutual respect, not self-sacrifice.

You can be adaptable and still have boundaries. You can adjust your behavior without compromising your core values. It’s not about being someone you’re not—it’s about knowing which version of yourself fits best in each scenario.

Context Matters: Real-Life Examples

Picture this:

✔️ You’re cracking jokes with your friends, but when your boss walks in, you switch to a more professional tone. That’s not being fake—that’s reading the room.

✔️ You’re super chatty with one friend but more reserved with another because they’re more introverted. That’s not inconsistency—that’s being considerate.

✔️ You’re extra respectful when visiting another culture, even if their customs are different from yours. That’s not pretending—that’s emotional intelligence.

See the pattern? Context always matters.

Adapting ≠ Being Fake

Adapting isn’t about being dishonest. It just means you understand that different settings call for different approaches.

If you’re professional at work but goofy with your friends, does that mean you have a split personality? Nope. It means you understand context. If you’re gentle with a sensitive person but playful with a more lighthearted friend, does that make you insincere? Nope. It makes you emotionally aware.

The ability to shift between different sides of yourself isn’t deception—it’s a skill. And it’s one of the reasons why relationships—whether friendships, family, or professional—thrive. Imagine speaking to a child the same way you’d speak to your boss. It wouldn’t make sense, right?

The Bottom Line: Adaptability is Emotional Intelligence

At the end of the day, adapting to different people and situations isn’t about losing yourself—it’s about understanding human nature. Different situations require different responses, and navigating them well is a sign of emotional maturity, not deception.

So the next time someone tells you that adjusting your approach makes you fake, just smile—because you’ve unlocked one of life’s most valuable skills.

The real trick? Knowing when to flex it.

And that, my friends, is what makes you authentic.