Wanderhoney.Com

Hello, it’s been a while… again..Haha. Honestly, I’m sitting here not knowing what to write, but I’ll just let my brain and fingers do their thing today. I do feel frustrated with myself for not writing enough, though, because I know I have to keep writing if I want to keep my skills sharp. My mom keeps reminding me:

“You have to write. If not, you will slowly lose your skill.”

I mean, every skill fades if we don’t use it enough, right?

Sorry to those who have been following me since the first time I created this blog; it used to share mostly travel content. Gradually, it has changed into a blog where I share my thoughts that could somehow help others. Some might find it helpful; others might find it boring. Nonetheless, knowing that there are people out there who consistently check my blog is good enough for me. It’s reassuring to know that someone out there cares.

I recently think I have been wasting a lot of my time. Yesterday, while driving back from work, I was thinking about how I could have put the lockdown during the pandemic to good use. Maybe I could have created some content, become an influencer, etc. Then, while writing this, I just realized how I don’t like putting my life on display, especially my private life. I don’t want to be someone who is recognized wherever I go. I also realized that my mental health was at its worst during the pandemic. I wasn’t proud of some things I did during that time—I was recovering from the relationship I had in 2019 that completely ruined every part of me.

But yeah, we can’t have everything in life. I lost my chance to do something that could change my life during the lockdown, but at the same time, it was a period of healing, which was also crucial for my life.

So, in the end, I did put that period of time to good use, right?

Or did I not?

Still, I feel like I’ve become someone who tends to procrastinate. I put everything on hold now, believing that I would do it later. I think it’s been about 2 months since I last edited my poetry. The lack of motivation is a big part of it, and I find that I spend most of my time with my boyfriend. Whether we’re together or just texting, we’re in constant communication. The attention I receive from him is something I deeply cherish. However, it also makes it hard for me to focus on other things. When I was single, I had plenty of time to myself. Now, things are different, but I know I really should finish what I started. I just need to learn how to manage my time better.

So far, in 2024, I haven’t gone anywhere yet. I’m still adjusting to a new workplace and my financial situation. A few weeks ago, I hit a low point because I felt tired of my routine and didn’t have the opportunity to recharge by going somewhere or trying or learning something new.

Does anyone else here feel the same way about routines?

Honestly, I hate it. I wish my everyday life could be more dynamic, with something new for me to see or learn. I don’t know how much longer I can stand doing the same routine again and again. I get bored fast, which is why I like to keep myself entertained by doing things I enjoy. Even spending a day at Ikea can be entertaining for me. The point is, I need to go somewhere and do something. While I like staying at home, I also hate routine. So yeah, I enjoy being outside too.

It makes me happy.

It recharges my energy.

Until then. X, Hani.