Take Me Back to 2018-2019

As I recently scrolled through my external hard drive to delete some old photos, I found myself swept up in a wave of nostalgia. Seeing the photos of myself smiling, laughing, and truly enjoying life brought back floods of memories. Each photo reminded me of the vibrant and adventurous youth I once had, surrounded by numerous friends who have since grown apart. 

Out of all the photos, I can’t stop thinking about the memories from 2018–2019. Those were certainly my peak years in terms of life achievements, friendships, and relationships. They stand out the most because the lessons I learned during those years completely changed me into who I am today. They were actually the happiest years of my life, regardless of what happened to me during that year.

2018 truly was the year of friendship. Back then, I had colleagues who were more than just coworkers—they were my trusted companions, my ride-or-die crew, whom I proudly called my best friends. The four of us were a riot. We cracked jokes, hit the cinema together, went on spontaneous road trips, and regularly went to Mamak for roti naan. I also loved how we could come up with plans out of nowhere and make them happen. I must admit, I dearly miss our friendship. It’s a friendship I doubt I’ll ever replicate with anyone else. Life has scattered us since then, and our bond isn’t as tight, but those moments with them still hold a special place in my heart. Like any friendship, there were moments when we also experienced negative feelings towards each other. In the end, nobody is perfect, right? Nonetheless, the friendship we once had is the kind of friendship that I’ll always remember. 

In 2019, my life took unexpected turns. Not only did my friendships from 2018 continue to strengthen, but it also became a year of relationships as I crossed paths with a guy who I thought might be the one. However, it turned out to be the year that shattered me completely, forcing me to rebuild myself from the ground up over the following years. At times, I’ve wished I could rewrite those chapters, but then I realize every twist and turn shaped me into who I am today and led me to meet people I was destined to meet—including Justin and my now-partner. Things happened because they were meant to happen. Even though they were the hardest things I had to face, they taught me a lot.

That year, my blog had its highest traffic, I travelled the most, experienced affection, and encountered things I had never experienced before. For that, I am thankful.

I couldn’t shake off thoughts of 2019 for days, and recently, I tagged along with my colleagues to buy work supplies, not knowing where they wanted to go. It turned out they were headed to Savanna Southville. Coincidentally enough, the shop was just right next to the block I once called home. As the car drove past the block, memories flooded my mind. I smiled. I remembered the parking lot where I used to park my car, the café I used to go to, the areas I strolled in, and the Mamak I hung out at. I didn’t feel angry, I didn’t feel sad. I smiled. It was the first time since 2019 that I came back to this place, and I finally breathed a sigh of relief. I remember how much I loved Savanna, and saying goodbye to it was one of the hardest things to do.

So yeah, I wish I could go back to 2018–2019 so I could relive all the good memories once again. Big thanks to everyone who helped make those years the happiest of my life—you all know who you are.


Sign out. Hani.


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