Long-distance relationships (LDRs) are becoming more common, especially among young people. But, many people believe that long-distance relationships are never going to work out. Your family may discourage it, and some of your best friends may advise you not to take it too seriously, in case you get your heart broken. Everyone seems to have an opinion on whether or not you should pursue one, but here’s the truth : only you know if it’s going to work. No one can predict that for you. This kind of relationship may be tough. They can require more work and dedication than a “normal” relationship, but if you can make it work, they’re so worth it. LDRs are actually often a blessing in disguise and can make your relationship stronger. As long as the two of you are faithful, trusting, patient and a little flexible, then everything will work out and your LDR will flow naturally.
I am personally in a long-distance relationship. For those of you in, or about to be in a long distance relationship, here are few things you need to know and expect about being in a long-distance relationship.
1. SERIOUS TRUST.
Being away from someone you love majority of the time is a hard thing to deal with. And you can’t survive it without serious amounts of trust. A long-distance relationship that works is one that has two secure people. Secure with themselves, with their partner, with their relationship. If you don’t have trust, you won’t have much.
2. SKYPE WILL BE YOUR BEST FRIEND.
At least for now.
- You will fall asleep with your beloved’s face on the screen.
- You will put your laptop next to your plate so you can have dinner together.
- You will have movie date online and it’ll feel just like bae is right next to you.
3. YOU’LL GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER VERY WELL.
When you’re in a long-distance relationship, you have nothing to build your relationship with but words. Interactions tend to be deeper and more meaningful. Talking at this deep level helps you as a couple get to know each other very well.
4. YOU’LL HAVE TO FIGHT OFF INVASIVE QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP.
“You do know that long-distance relationships never work, right?”
“Aren’t you afraid they’re going to cheat on you?”
Though your relationship is nobody else’s business, people are still going to ask about every single detail. The best response to these types of questions is something simple and polite, such as “It’s a little difficult, but it’s worth it in the long run.” You don’t have to explain yourself or say anything more than that.
5. LONG DISTANCE FEELS HEAVY SOMETIMES.
Your partner won’t be around every time you desperately need them, not on one of those “bad days” when you are one step away from a yet another mental breakdown. Not on those days when you fail and need more support that any sweet words on Skype can convey. Eventually, you learn to cope with a lot of things on your own, and you grow stronger and more mature in the process.
6. TIME ZONE SUCK BIG TIME.
If you’re separated by so much space that you’re more than an hour or two out of sync, set a schedule. Try to find routines that match up with each other. If you don’t have any, make some. Pick a day every week to spend the evening together. Talk every day for at least a little while. This is one way that long distance relationships don’t differ much from short-distance ones, but it takes extra effort to reach the baseline, so it can’t be neglected.
7. YOU MAKE MORE MEMORABLE MOMENTS.
When you’re in a long-distance relationship you put more effort into making your time together special—you’re more likely to branch out and stretch to make a moment memorable.
8. YOU PRACTICE BEING PATIENT.
Long-distance relationships seem custom-designed to teach patience, and patience is a powerful life skill. Patience helps you tolerate minor frustrations without getting stressed. It enables you take a long-term view of situations and problems. It stabilizes you in the face of life’s challenges. When you are being patient in your long-distance relationship you are not just nurturing love, you are developing your character.
9. YOU ARE LESS LIKELY TO CONFUSE LUST WITH LOVE.
Attraction in a long-distance relationship tends to be based primarily on a foundation of emotional intimacy and shared values rather than physical intimacy. Being attracted to someone mostly because of the conversations you have (rather than the sex you share) is not an iron-clad guarantee of long-term relationship success, but it certainly helps.
10. YOU CEMENT YOUR COMMITMENT.
“When you have a cement commitment behind your dreams, nothing will stop you” – John Di Lemme
Many long-distance couples credit their time apart with helping them see just how much they really did want to be together. Persevering in the face of the distance make them even more committed to the relationship. And after that? Well, if your relationship can survive long distance, it can survive most other things as well.
11. YOU’LL LEARN TO APPRECIATE YOUR PARTNER IN WAYS YOU’D NEVER IMAGINE.
You learn more about someone when you take the physical aspects away from a relationship. You talk about their day, their goals, how they feel. You pick up on little things you probably would have overlooked before.
12. YOU WILL SEE IT AS AN OPPORTUNITY.
“If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to live apart.” – Anonymous.
Instead of thinking that this long distance relationship is pulling you two apart, you should believe that through this experience, the both of you will be bound together even stronger.
As Emma says it to Will in season four of Glee :
“I would rather be here, far from you, but feeling really close, rather than close to you but feeling really far away.” – Emma, Glee Season 4
13. A CONNECTION THAT ISN’T PHYSICAL.
It’s easy to feel connected to someone when you’re able to physically touch them and feel them. In long-distance relationships, you have to learn how to give and receive affection that doesn’t always include being in the same room. You’ll need to strengthen the core of your relationship — friendship, respect, and admiration.
14. IT’S NOT AS BAD AS IT SOUNDS.
Really, it isn’t. Because when you’ve got the right person, it makes a whole lot more sense to have them a 1000 miles away than not have them at all.
15. IF YOU’RE LUCKY, IT’LL ALL BE WORTH IT.
And for anyone reading this, I hope it is.