We, as humans, tend to go through life with many regrets. We wish we had never met certain people, followed certain paths, or avoided certain things.
“I wish I could turn back time and do things differently”
— Yup, we are all definitely guilty of saying that to ourselves.
Some people have the philosophy that everything happens for a reason, so there is no point in having regrets. However, for many of us, when we look back on our lives, it often leads us to an emotional moment where we wish we had done things differently. The brutal truth about life is that we have no control over many of the things that happen. No matter how much we try to prevent something from happening, it still happens to us because life works in a mysterious way that we don’t always understand. It’s complex, but there is perfect harmony in it. In a bigger context, it indeed happens for a reason—either you need to change your life, or you’re going to change theirs, or something else is going to change. This is why I often remind my readers about the power of acceptance. Acceptance helps us see things from a different perspective, allowing us to learn valuable life lessons that we should not overlook.
So, why should you never regret dating the person who broke your heart? Well, heartbreak happens. We dated the wrong person. Maybe the timing is not right, and we can’t run away from making mistakes too. In the end, every relationship comes with the promise of something new—if you learn something along the way. That, to me, is the best part about breaking up, especially when you were in a terrible relationship to begin with.
Dating The Wrong Person.
We meet many people in our lives, and each one of them serves a certain purpose. Some are meant to stay, while others are simply meant to cross our paths, but everyone plays a part in our lives. The memories that we have with them, whether big or small, good or bad, all have an impact on us. Sure, we all want only good things to happen to us, to meet the right person, and to never get hurt, but life doesn’t work that way. If you happen to meet the right person right away, good for you! Maybe you’re one of God’s favorites. However, many of us don’t have that privilege. We met the wrong person, dated them, and got hurt.
If you are a regular reader of my blog, I assume you already know the details of what happened in my previous relationship. I wrote about it two years ago as a lesson for others to learn. However, earlier this year, I made the decision to take down the post out of respect for my ex and our shared memories.
Anyway, I still remember the degree of resentment I felt toward my ex after our breakup 3 years ago because of what he had done to me. I was trapped in denial, convinced that I didn’t deserve any of it, and I used to pray every day that something terrible would happen to him—something even worse than what he had done to me. It would be a lie to claim that I’ve never had any regrets about dating him, but during that time, my emotions were consumed by anger.
Time went by, and I slowly realized that if I kept letting the negative energy overpower me, I would stay the same person and make the same mistakes repeatedly. I would also end up meeting similar people, just in different bodies, and facing the same problems. That’s when I understood that I needed to accept what happened so I could learn the lessons that came with the relationship. I also came to the realization that I didn’t love myself enough back then.
When people treated me badly, I always believed it was my fault. I thought I wasn’t good enough. That experience pushed me to rebuild myself and start all over again; I began focusing on loving and being kind to myself. I also started enjoying my own company and became more careful about who I allowed into my life. It took me a long time to recover mentally, emotionally, and physically. The journey was tough, but it was definitely worth it. I genuinely love who I am now, and I feel much happier with myself.
When I received an email from my ex two months ago, telling me how our failed relationship had gradually transformed him into a better person and a better man, it brought a smile to my face. I smiled because I knew I no longer harbored any negative feelings toward him, and I genuinely wished him nothing but the best. In the end, he was the person I chose and once loved, someone I had invested my time and energy in. That’s why I will never regret the relationship and the heartbreak that came with it. Our failed relationship has shaped me into a new person too. Yes, the relationship took a toll on me but it also ended up being what we both needed at the time to change each other’s lives, which I only realized later in life.
Should we regret treating them right?
I once believed that when I treated someone right, they would do the same. No, it doesn’t work that way. It actually depends on who they are as a person — you have no control over that no matter how good you are to them. Some people will just treat you badly and take you for granted with or without realizing it. It sucks but it is what it is.
I’m not perfect, but I always hold on to my principle:
No matter how badly someone treats you, be kind anyway. Never go to their level.
My mother always reminds me of the same thing too. It would be a lie if I said I never fantasized to retaliate against those who mistreated me. I’m a human, I have my anger and frustration too but I’ve always ended up walking away from the situation. I simply don’t have the ability to hurt others because it would be torturous for me to know that someone out there is hurting because of my actions. Because of that, no matter how badly I wanted to hurt people the way they did to me, I just couldn’t do it. The best I can do is cry my heart out in silence and eat ice cream whilst listening to badass villain songs to make myself feel better. Haha.
What I’ve learned from treating someone right is that a time will come in your life when they will regret why they treated you wrong. Trust me, it will definitely come. It has happened to me many times. Just remember that treating someone right will allow you to sleep better at night knowing you did your best for that person. When you walk away, you don’t have to live for the rest of your life feeling guilty about how badly you’ve treated someone. You don’t lose anything either. In fact, you actually win because you have discovered someone’s truth. So, never regret treating someone right. Protect your heart from bitterness — stay kind because the kindness of your heart speaks volumes about who you are as a person and how you treat others will be remembered for a very long time.
I don’t think I’d be who I am today if I hadn’t been in a relationship with my ex. I don’t deserve what happened, but I personally believe that I deserve the lesson. It taught me more about myself than I realized at the time. I now know what I want in life and the kind of person I want to be with when it’s time for me to be in a committed relationship again. 😀
So, yeah! Never regret dating the person who broke your heart — never regret the love you gave, even if it wasn’t reciprocated. After all, love comes at the risk of heartbreak, and every heartbreak teaches us some life lessons that cannot be learned any other way. It hurts, yes, but the pain will only make you stronger and wiser. Take care!
Live with no excuses and love with no regrets. X, Hani. ♥