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I just finished binge-watching Manifest Season 4 Part I on Netflix. I cried so hard as I watched Zeke using his empathic abilities to absorb Cal’s cancer, saving Cal and effectively ending his own life (sorry for the spoiler!). From the very beginning of the show, I truly love his character, and watching him dying, especially when he makes an emotional phone call where he spills his love for his wife and everything that they’ve built together, that was too much for me to bear. I had to pause the episode, sobbing as if I were the one experiencing the pain. Unfortunately, this is how I experience life in general; I have this unique ability to sense and absorb people’s feelings and energy, sometimes to the point where I can take on those emotions as my own.

Imagine being able to feel everything, not just what happens to you, but also what happens to those around you. This includes the show you watch, the music you listen to, and the books that you read—everything can literally have an emotional impact on you. As an empath, I can say that it can be rough sometimes even if it does mean we basically have a ‘Superpower’.

How it feels being an empath?

Life can be overwhelming since I am highly sensitive to the energy, moods, and emotions of people, situations, and also their environments—unconsciously walking around absorbing everything I come into contact with, both good and bad. It makes me feel like I’m walking around with an open heart that’s like a sponge. People’s pain and sadness affect me the most more than any other emotion that we humans have. Every time I see someone cry or experience pain (including through lines or words that I read), my heart becomes heavy and I begin to cry as well. I also have this sense of “knowing” things are true even when I have no evidence or proof of it. It’s almost as if when something comes into my mind telling me to feel or do a certain thing, it quite often leads me directly to something that turns out to be true or the right thing to do. I’m not sure if it’s related to being an empath, but whatever the case may be, I’m grateful for the ability. Have I ever disregarded this ‘ability’ in the past? Yes, several times, but I’ve also learned to give it more attention now since it has saved me several times from harmful situations, both emotionally and mentally.

Staying Balanced As An Empath.  

• I have found that it is very important for me to be around people who are supportive and positive, and who understand me as an empath because sometimes I feel misunderstood by those who don’t understand how deeply I can feel about things.
• I have to be very mindful of who I let into my personal space and to who I give my energy to. 
• I become a little bit selfish when it comes to my own energy and emotions.
• I like to meditate and do other activities that help me ground myself and connect with my own energy.
• I’ve had to learn how to create boundaries and to say “NO” more often.
• Limiting myself from watching the news, getting involved in potentially conflicting conversations, and spending time with emotionally needy or unhealthy people. 
• I spend most of my time with people that I feel connected to; people who make me happy and bring me good vibes.
• I don’t suppress or bury my emotions; if I want to cry, I cry. Only then I will feel better.
• I write whatever is on my mind to reconnect with my own emotions, and help me to focus. 
• I’m still learning how to protect myself from other people’s energy and emotions because it has been one of the most challenging things for me, and I know I will continue to learn. 

My Guide To Understand An Empath. 

1. They cannot change. Don’t expect them to change; they are born with the ability. Nothing will drive them further away than if you try to change their sensitivity and empathic ability. They are different from the majority of people. They’re sensitive. They’re intuitive. They easily get overstimulated. They cry. They see beauty in everything. They feel the pain of others. They will close themselves off to you immediately if you try to change them or invalidate their emotions. 

2. Being supportive helps them open up; they not only take on and feel other people’s emotions, but they also become deeply invested in supporting those around them or solving all of their problems. This can lead them to ignore their own needs in order to serve others. If your partner is an empath, it’s important that you are supportive of them and their needs. Make sure that they are taking care of themselves, and ask them if they need time or space too. Offer to take things off their plate, and most importantly, ask them how you can be supportive. Empaths are often in tune with their own emotions and will be able to guide you on how to best support them.

3. Their intuition is almost always correct; they’re empathetic, remember? They feel everything. They have an excellent sense of intuition. So, when they have a good feeling about something, trust them. When they have a bad feeling about something, trust them. It’s important to really listen to them. They also know when you are not speaking the truth. They may choose to look the other way because they love you and have the habit of seeing the good in others, but believe me, they know.

4. They love with great intensity; a deep, meaningful relationship is so important to an empath. It’s no surprise that when they feel deeply connected to someone, they will care for that person, and when they love someone, their love will be intense and powerful—in the right hands, it will change you forever, and for the better, in the wrong hands, it will destroy them mentally and emotionally. So yeah, they don’t take love lightly. When they truly choose to open their hearts to you, expect to be blown away. They will take good care of you and your heart because they don’t know how to love any other way. It’s also hard for you to see that they want to hurt people they love because it will be torture for them to know someone they love is in pain because of them. Your heart is basically safe if you have an empath as your partner.

5. Let them feel their emotions; as painful as it can be sometimes to watch an empath take on the emotions of other people, it’s important to let them feel their emotions. Just like it’s important to ride out good emotions, it’s important to ride out bad emotions. Allow them to process their emotions in their own way. It is insensitive to expect them to get over something or move on before they are ready. The best thing you can do is to comfort them and support them through these difficult moments and phases, and they’ll forever be grateful.

Even though being an empath can feel like a curse at times, I’ve come to appreciate it as a unique gift—as a ‘Superpower’ to be precise (now I’m imagining myself in Wonder Woman costume. Haha!) It has pushed me to live in a world where everything and everyone feels outside of my comfort zone, which has helped me grow. Instead of hiding and fearing the ability, I now embrace it as the unique gift as it is and use it to help others and improve the world around me. 

X, Hani. ♥