I read an article yesterday in which Janna Nick apologized for sharing stuff related to her recent heartbreak, and she also admitted that she isn’t mature enough. First of all, I want to make it clear that I’ve never been a fan of hers; in fact, I don’t pay much attention to Malaysia’s entertainment industry. I am familiar with a few names because my family and friends sometimes like to gossip about Malaysian artists, but I don’t know much about them because I don’t watch Malaysian dramas or movies, and I also don’t listen to Malaysian music. Whatever it is, one thing is for sure; at the end of the day, they are still human beings. By nature, human beings are first and foremost emotional creatures. We are motivated and activated by emotions, and emotions drive and lead us both consciously and unconsciously. Our everyday habits, routines, rituals, attitudes, and perceptions are all influenced by our emotions.
So, did Janna Nick do anything wrong by sharing stuff that related to her heartbreak? Definitely no. Should she apologize for doing that? Also, No.
I personally view people’s behavior in terms of their age and life experience. All of us have done stupid sh*t in our lives. We are not perfect and never will be, and I am a firm believer that we will evolve into better versions of ourselves if we allow ourselves to make mistakes throughout our lives. I chose to write about this topic today because some people really need to change their mindset and perspective on life.
OK, let’s talk about Janna Nick. She had a breakup and is currently in Italy by herself to deal with her broken heart. She added sad captions to her photos and shared sad quotes and other things that related to her feelings. Then, one of her followers Direct Messaged her:
“You’re so annoying. You broke up, just let it go. It makes you look bad. Have some respect for your ex and the relationship you had. They were good memories too, stop focusing on the bad ones,”
My only question now to whoever the person is: have you ever had to cope with heartbreak in your life? Why are you being such an a-hole? Heartbreak is the worst feeling someone has to cope with. It can be so intensely painful, especially for those who experience it for the first time. It’s not something you can let go of and easily heal, especially if you just got out of a relationship that was toxic for you. As someone who had to rebuild herself for years after a terrible relationship, I am extremely sensitive to something like this.
Here’s what I have to say to relate to the DM for people to see things from a different perspective: I didn’t think my ex deserved any of my respect when we broke up. Also, there aren’t enough good memories to make up for all of the bad ones that I had to go through in the relationship. I only learned to respect the relationship (not him) after I fully recovered and accepted the fact that it was a life lesson for me to learn—which took years later. So, if sharing experiences and feelings make you look bad, so be it. Don’t let yourself be influenced by the words of those who are trying to manipulate that you are the bad ones.
This is why we have no right to judge or criticize how people cope with sadness (or hard times in general). Even if what they do is stupid and annoying, that’s how they cope with their sadness, and if that could make them feel better, then let them do it. Let them continue doing it. We can’t say for sure what truly happened to them. We don’t know if they have anyone who understands what they’re going through. Sharing on social media could have shown that they were actually trying to reach out to people and connect them with others who feel the same way or have had similar experiences. Good, positive words will definitely help them.
So, if you don’t have anything nice to say, just shut the fu*k up.
Don’t be mean on the Internet. Maybe your way of handling life is better than theirs, but that doesn’t mean their way won’t work. We all heal in different ways. Stupid, annoying, or not, at some point, they will stop. The emotion will slowly fade away. It’s not permanent. As they get older, they will realize what they did was stupid and annoying, but for the time being, they can be themselves and do whatever they think is best for them and their situation. Let them go through life experiences so they have something to learn, and you, as a viewer, be kind. It costs nothing to be kind. Spread positivity with your words to support another human being. If you don’t like what you see, shift your attention to something else.
Back to Janna Nick, I googled her age. She is 27. I mean, when I was her age, I did things that looking back on them now are embarrassingly stupid and immature, but that’s the beauty of it; if I didn’t do any of those things, I don’t think I’ll evolve as a person and become who I am today. I spent my 20s experimenting with mistakes in order to learn about life and myself. Because of this, at my age now, it’s hard for me to make judgments about other people or criticize them because I’ve been in their shoes which has shaped me into a very understanding person. I know that making mistakes is essential for our personal growth. We were not born with maturity. The things around us, the experiences we have, the mistakes we have made, and so on, are all factors that play a role in our eventual level of maturity. If you are attacking people on the internet because you think they are stupid and immature, just know that your action of attacking people is also stupid and immature. 🤡
I know someone who is 38 years old, but she acts and does things like she’s still in her early 20s. Her actions and behavior remind me of what I was like and what most people were like in their early 20s, which are already long gone because as we aged, we changed. I asked myself, what happened to her because everyone has their own unique backstory. There must be a reason why she is the way she is. Then I did a little digging to understand her. The story is that she got married very young—when she was 21 years old. That information explains why she acts as if she’s still in her 20s. She skipped the entire process or timeline of her 20s and jumped right into the responsibilities of a wife, mother, and daughter-in-law. As a result, she lacks the life experiences, mistakes, and other things that we did in our 20s to figure out who we are. This is why it is important to take some time to learn about someone’s life before you can say anything about them.
Before I end this post, I want to remind you once again that we all have flaws. Never think that you are better than anyone else. Do not judge or criticize people without knowing their stories. Some people are sucks, but still, we have no idea about their stories. As I said, if you don’t have anything nice to say, just don’t say anything at all. If people want to share things about their life online, even if it annoys you, let them be. They don’t do anything that can affect your life anyway. You can’t control the way they act, but you can control the way you respond to it—you can hide their status, unfriend them, or do whatever is best for you. Give people the freedom to cope with things in whatever way works best for them.
For those people who are trying to cope with things;
Never apologize for showing your feelings and never apologize for being you.
X, Hani. ❤