Toxic Friendships: The Thin Line Between Loyalty and Self-Respect.

At this point in my life, I can honestly say that I don’t have many friends, and I’m perfectly content with that. While part of me feels like I could put on a façade and make more friends, my past experiences have taught me that having more friends often leads to more drama. Over the past decade, I’ve cut a number of people out of my life, to the point where I don’t even acknowledge that I know them anymore. I’m not invested in their lives, and I don’t keep their contact information or follow them on social media. I’m not one of those people who, when you stop talking to them, begin talking about them. I simply don’t care anymore; they’re not worth my time and energy.

Patience has its limit.

I used to have a friend who complained about being patient with me. While I understand that I can be moody, I believe everyone has their own flaws. Interestingly, I have never complained about her, even when she acted childish, hypocritical, or rude towards others. Unfortunately, she has surrounded herself with toxic people, and this has influenced her behaviour to the point of becoming toxic herself. Despite this, I still see her as a good person. However, she complains about almost everyone without acknowledging her own flaws that need improvement. Although I have been patient with her for a while, I have reached my limit with her behaviour. I believe that she can allow others to hurt her, but I cannot allow her to hurt me in the same way.

You Don’t Need To Be Nice All The Time.

I’ve come to realize that I would rather avoid arguments and keep quiet, even though I used to have a hot temper and be very outspoken. With age, I’ve changed quite a bit, and now, no matter what people do to me, I tend to stay quiet and hardly lose my patience. However, I’ve also learned that staying silent when mistreated can give others the impression that it’s acceptable to treat you poorly. It’s crucial to stand up for yourself and not allow anyone, whether they’re friends or not, to disrespect you. You don’t need to constantly prioritize being the bigger person or pleasing others; it’s more important to prioritize your own self-respect and boundaries.

When They Play The Victim, Let Them Be.

When someone with a big ego refuses to take responsibility for their actions or admit their mistakes, they often resort to playing the victim instead of owning up to their mistakes and apologizing. These people often take to social media to post about how unfairly they’ve been treated, painting themselves as a victim and seeking allies. They may also badmouth you to manipulate others into taking their side. I’ve personally experienced this behaviour multiple times, but I’ve realized that it’s not worth fighting or trying to prove myself to anyone. Instead, I choose to live peacefully and let others think what they want. If someone asks me directly for my side of the story, I’m happy to share it, but I don’t feel the need to defend myself to everyone. Time has a way of revealing the truth, and I trust that eventually, the facts will speak for themselves.

Friends come and go.

As Steve Harvey said:

“Everyone who comes with you, can’t go with you. You’ll lose friends while you’re climbing to the top.”

As we mature, we aspire to live a fulfilling life and be our best selves. It’s natural to desire positive influences and peaceful surroundings. The person we were in our teens or 20s may not be who we want to be anymore. If we find ourselves stuck in the same patterns of drama and negativity, we should take a moment to reflect on ourselves and our circle of friends. We should keep the ones who bring positivity and let go of those who don’t. We should strive to upgrade ourselves and our surroundings to create the life we want.

Your best friend now can be your enemy tomorrow. 

It’s important to be cautious about what personal information you share with others, even with those you consider close. Remember that people have different intentions and motives, so it’s hard to be completely certain about someone’s character. Friendships can sour, and people can change. Anger and hatred can drive someone to take destructive actions, even against those they previously loved and trusted. Therefore, it’s important to protect ourselves and be mindful of the risks when sharing sensitive information. While it’s essential to build strong and positive relationships with others, it’s also important to maintain healthy boundaries and prioritize our safety and well-being.

Toxic friends can have a negative impact on your mental health and overall life. It’s important to recognize when a friendship is no longer serving you and take action to cut ties with those who are toxic. Don’t feel obligated to play nice or be a hypocrite, just do what is best for you. Remember, not everyone is meant to be in our lives forever. It’s okay to let go and make room for better relationships.


X, Hani. ❤


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