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For the past 3 months, I went through a phase where every day felt heavy and uninspired. Throughout that period, I kept everyone at arm’s length, avoided conversations, and spent most of my time asleep—escaping reality. What led to me feeling this way? It all started with overwhelming stress at work, followed by a personal project that didn’t turn out the way I had hoped. The disappointment lingered, and on top of that, I found myself missing the people who usually lifted my spirits—friends I’d felt too distant to reach out to.

Now, as I write this, I’ve made my way back to being an energetic and driven version of myself. It took me some time, but the fact that I was able to manage it was what counted. Here are some of the things that helped me heal and move forward—I hope they help you too.

I Gave Myself Time to Heal.

I didn’t make myself do things I didn’t want to, like forcing myself to talk to people or go out when I didn’t want to. I basically cut myself off. I was already stressed out after being at work for 9 hours. Being outside and around others would have made me feel even more stressed out.

For months, because I didn’t want anyone to bother me, I ignored hundreds of text messages. I stopped using my phone from 5 p.m. until 7 a.m. the following morning on weekdays, and I didn’t use my phone at all on the weekends. I didn’t beat myself up for not responding to people. I took whatever time I required. I didn’t rush.

Music Became My Lifeline.

My mental health depends heavily on music, which is why Spotify has become an indispensable part of my routine. I made sure to listen to my favourite songs regularly, especially from Taylor Swift. Her lyrics are so uplifting, often saying exactly what I wish I could express but couldn’t find the words for.

I created playlists for different moods and listened to them depending on how I was feeling. Music has a way of calming the mind and bringing a sense of comfort, which helps me to relax and feel better.

Podcasts to the Rescue.

When facing challenges, I often turn to the internet for personal development resources. One day, when I was looking for a podcast about feeling lost, it led me to a life coach podcast by Rafael Eliassen. His podcast greatly improves my self-esteem. He literally inspired me. He made me realize where I went wrong. I reached out to him to let him know how thankful I am for his podcast, and to my surprise, he responded to me. Here are the podcast episodes: Feeling Lost In Your Life?

Leaning on Friends Who Understand.

I have a lot of friends, but few who truly understand me. I’m lucky to have four good people in my life who I can turn to for support: a colleague and close friend who I trust the most, and two online friends who have been a lifeline during the lockdown in 2021.

Recently, I reached out to one of my online friends, whom I consider to be one of the best people I’ve ever met. He has a way of listening to me talk about anything without judgment and always knows how to lift my mood. I’m grateful to have him as a friend and always make an effort to keep our friendship going.

Journaling My Thoughts.

Writing down my thoughts and feelings helped me to process them and understand them better. Journaling helped me gain clarity on what I was going through. It also helped me to identify patterns in my behaviour and emotions. When we can understand ourselves better, it can help us to find solutions to our problems.

Practising Self-Compassion.

Sometimes, when things don’t go as planned, I start being critical of myself. I don’t easily give up on people, but I do it a lot with myself. Perhaps because I put too much pressure on myself to accomplish things perfectly. So, when things go wrong in life, I like to blame myself as well. It’s frustrating and, frankly, bruises my ego.

Now I realize that no matter how perfect things are, if I continue to drive myself with self-criticism, I will not enjoy the process—the journey. As much as I would love to be perfect, I’m only human, and I make mistakes. I want to be good at everything I do, but beating myself up isn’t doing me any good either. Ultimately, life moves in its own manner.

Indulging in Simple Joys.

I only did things that I enjoyed without feeling bad about it—things that made me happy and I will continue doing so. I spent time watching movies and TV shows without thinking, “OK, I’m wasting my time,” and I allowed myself to indulge in any dessert I craved—if it makes me happy, I’ll do it without any guilt. I realized that it’s important to give myself permission to relax and enjoy myself.

I also limited my responses to people. Instead of feeling obligated to respond to everyone who reaches out to me, I only engage with the people who genuinely make me happy. Whether it’s a friend who always makes me laugh or a family member who I have a strong connection with, I prioritize relationships that bring me joy. 

Conclusion.

Feelings are not the same as thoughts. You can’t simply overcome them by changing your thinking. If you’re feeling lost right now, know that it’s okay to take a step back and just be. Life ebbs and flows, and sometimes all we need is patience, kindness, and a little time to find our way again.

X. Hani.