PMS : The Time When I Hate Myself, My Life, And Everyone.

I hate being a woman sometimes. Do you know how frustrating premenstrual syndrome (PMS) can be? It’s never easy when you have to deal with it. I normally experience PMS about a week or two before I get my period, and then, when I get my period, I have to deal with the pain that comes with it. That sums up to a total of three weeks spent coping with emotionally turbulent states. So, yeah, it sucks. The good thing is that my emotions are more stable during my period than they are during my PMS. Fortunately, my PMS isn’t always the same each month. At times, it has little to no effect on my emotions, and at other times, it can be really challenging. 

I remember this one time, out of the blue, a friend of mine said:

“I think I need to see a Psychiatrist. I feel so depressed”

and she started crying so much. I asked her why she felt that way as I tried to be there for her, but the next day she came to me and said:

“Okay, false alarm. I got my period today.”

It made us both laugh, but, being a woman, I can totally relate to her behavior, and why she acted the way she did the day before.

Even for myself, my PMS is a mix of hating myself, my life, and everyone around me. I can feel happy one minute, sad the next, and angry for no reason. Bad things that happened to me decades ago that I no longer care about are suddenly able to make me cry again. It also makes me have doubts about everything in my life: I feel like I want to give up on my passions, I think ‘Justin’ hates me, Jack is planning to leave me, I feel fat and ugly, no one loves me, and I feel like I’m a failure. I mostly fight with my own thoughts. People who aren’t aware that I’m having PMS might think that I’m going through some kind of mid-life crisis or something when the truth is that, all I really need is a big hug and a bucket of ice cream—a lot of ice cream, an entire strawberry cheesecake, a gallon of salted caramel latte, and leave me dafuq alone, because, in addition to my mood swings, I also need to deal with a stomach ache, body ache, and feeling hungry all the time.

So, it’s lucky for you to be born as a male. You don’t have to go through this period of time. However, you still do need to understand how to deal with the situation because, at some point, you will have a woman in your life. Unless you don’t want that, well, there’s always the option of being gay. 😁

Over the past few years, writing has been great for my mental health. Some of you might be wondering why I write a random post about what’s going on in my life, and who cares, actually? To be honest, I don’t really talk that much in real life. I don’t have ‘my people’ around me, at least not where I live. So, I am more of an observer and listener. This blog is the only place where I’m able to express myself; it gives me a place to vent some of my thoughts and feelings. It makes me feel like I’m talking to someone who really listens to me because I know there is someone out there, interested in what I write about since I keep track of the number of readers who read my posts. There are some things that I continue to keep to myself because they are too personal for me to share with anyone else, but being able to express even a small portion of what’s going on in my life is already helping me a great deal, especially during my PMS. 

Have a great weekend guys. X, Hani. ❤



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