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In the past, I would cling to friendships, even when they no longer felt right. But I’ve come to see that letting go isn’t about giving up—it’s about taking care of myself. Slowly, I’ve learned to surround myself with people who bring joy and share my values, and in doing so, I’ve realized something important: letting go doesn’t have to come from a place of anger or resentment. It’s about making room in my life for peace and for the connections that truly matter.
Patience Has Its Limit
Patience is a virtue, but even virtues have boundaries. I once had a friend who expressed frustration to almost everyone about being patient with me. While I know I can be moody at times (as we all can be), I’ve always believed that friendships thrive on mutual understanding and acceptance. Despite her flaws—whether it was being childish, hypocritical, or sometimes unkind—I chose not to criticize her.
What hurt the most was seeing her lose herself to the toxic influences around her. Over time, her behaviour mirrored the negativity of those she surrounded herself with. Yet I held onto the belief that she had a good heart and could rise above it.
However, there comes a point where patience becomes self-sacrifice. While I hoped for her growth, I couldn’t let her actions compromise my self-respect. True friendships should uplift, not tear down.
You Don’t Need to Be Nice All the Time
For much of my life, I’ve tried to avoid conflict, often choosing silence over confrontation. As I’ve grown, I’ve learned that staying silent isn’t always the best approach—it can sometimes send the wrong message. People might assume it’s acceptable to treat you poorly if you don’t speak up.
Standing up for yourself is an act of self-love. It doesn’t mean being harsh or confrontational; it means setting clear boundaries and ensuring others respect them. You don’t have to be the bigger person all the time or put others’ comfort above your own well-being. Prioritizing your own peace and dignity is not selfish; it’s essential.
When They Play the Victim, Let Them Be
Some people struggle to take accountability for their actions. Instead of reflecting on their mistakes, they choose to play the victim, often spinning narratives to gain sympathy or validation. This kind of behaviour can feel frustrating, especially when it involves misrepresenting you or your intentions.
I’ve encountered this more than once. At first, I felt the need to defend myself to ensure people saw the truth. But I’ve learned that not every battle is worth fighting. Time reveals all things and the people who truly know you will understand your intentions without you needing to explain yourself.
It’s liberating to let go of the need for external validation. If someone is determined to see themselves as the victim, let them. Focus on living your life with integrity and let your actions speak for themselves.
Friends Come and Go
As Steve Harvey once said:
“Everyone who comes with you can’t go with you. You’ll lose friends while you’re climbing to the top.”
As we grow and evolve, our priorities shift. The friendships that fit perfectly in our lives during our teenage years or 20s may not align with who we’re becoming. And that’s okay. Growth often requires letting go of relationships that no longer serve us.
It’s worth taking the time to reflect on the people in your life. Who brings joy and positivity? Who drains your energy? By surrounding yourself with supportive and uplifting individuals, you create the space to become the best version of yourself.
Letting go is not about burning bridges or holding resentment; it’s about honouring your journey and allowing others to continue theirs in a direction that suits them.
Your Best Friend Today Could Be Your Enemy Tomorrow
Life is unpredictable, and people change. Even those you trust deeply can act out of anger, jealousy, or hurt in unexpected ways. That’s why it’s important to be mindful about what you share and with whom.
Building strong relationships is a beautiful part of life, but protecting your peace and maintaining healthy boundaries are equally important. Trust should never come at the cost of your own well-being.
Final Thoughts
Toxic friendships can take a toll on your mental health and happiness, but recognizing when to let go is an act of self-respect and self-love. Not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever—and that’s perfectly okay.
By prioritizing your well-being and setting boundaries, you make space for healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Letting go isn’t always easy, but it’s necessary to grow and create the life you deserve. Embrace the possibility of better connections, and remember that your peace is priceless.
X, Hani ❤
